The English Major

Screw you 2011 I want my flying car!

2011-12-31T14:54:00.000-08:00

Looking back on all these retrospectives of 2011 I can't help but gag a little whenever I see some glowing post about how fantastically awesome 2011 has been.

"OMG it's the best year ever"

"2011 has been a year of amazements"

"this has been the best year of my life"

Really? Because I have to say that 2011 has been a year of disappointments. Do you what I drive? A Toyota. It's a regular car that drives on a regular road. Seriously, how boring is that? It doesn't fly, or transform, or talk to me. It just sucks gas and drives.

And do you know how I get from pace to place (when I'm not driving my boring car) I walk. No jet pack, not even a hover board. Seriously, I'm willing to start wearing high tops if it means I get a hover board.

So I ask you 2011, where is my personal robot like Rosie from the Jetsons? Shouldn't she be waking me up in the morning with coffee and breakfast? Shouldn't she be making my bed and brushing my teeth and basically turning me into the laziest person EVER (side bar: why weren't the Jetsons fatter). Where is my spaceship? Where is my machine that magically cooks anything I want with the touch of a button in under 60 seconds? And for the love of Pete where is my flying car?

I mean sure, I'm typing this on my iPad while listening to my iPod and answering email on my phone...but really 2011 I expected more from you.

The Rejection Game

2011-12-25T18:48:00.000-08:00

Do you remember middle school gym class and how horrifying it was when two of the super athletic cool kids were chosen as team captains and the rest of the class lined up waiting to be picked?

This, as you can well imagine, never ended well for me. I was neither popular, or athletic. What I was, was short...very short. I was once compared to a wind-up toy.

For this reason I never much cared for gym, and never took it past those dreaded middle school years (in my high school the marching band counted as PE credit...told you I wasn't popular).

I like to think that those middle school gym classes were the beginning of my fear of rejection. And lets face it, no one really likes being rejected. We strive to fit it, to be part of a crowd, to be accepted by those around us. It's the reason why people dress, and act, and talk, the way they do. And lets not pretend like you don't do it too. Everyone wants acceptance.

I'm not saying its a bad thing to want to be accepted. I'm saying that it sucks to be rejected.

The adoption process, at least in my personal experience, is a study in rejection. You spend months getting paperwork together; with background checks, and fingerprints (multiple times which, come on, is stupid), and social work visits, and interviews. Your friends and family write letters of recommendation. You create a self-absorbed (on purpose) scrapbook all about how fantastically awesome you are. And FINALLY you submit everything to the agency and you wait...

and wait...

and wait...

And while each adoption journey, domestic or international, has it's own particular struggles, the wait is universal. And it doesn't matter if you wait 4 months for a birth mother to choose you in a domestic situation, or 36 months to get your match from China, the waiting (while it lasts), seems endless.

In my particular case the wait (9 months and counting) is interrupted with these intense moments of hope. When I match the criteria a birth mother is looking for, and my profile is shown. Let me assure you that the wait, during those moments, is worse then endless. And when the hope dies, I'm still waiting, the short, unpopular kid in gym class, standing on the sidelines while everyone else plays.

It sucks...a lot.

And it's happened five times.

And I really don't want it to happen a 6th.

A girl can only be rejected so many times before she starts to think...maybe it's her.

(also, gym teachers, I really hope you don't let the cool kids pick teams anymore...just sayin)

Envy

2011-12-16T18:23:00.000-08:00

I often find my self suffering from blog envy or, more specifically, envy of the crafty-antiquey-bakey-homemadey stuff I see in blogs.

You see in my mind I am that girl, the one who crafts, and writes, and reads, and L.I.V.E.S. everyday like life is some sort of carnival and I'm queen of the parade.

And I like to craft, and antique, and bake (ok that's a lie, unless you count the cookies that you just break apart and set on the cookie sheet because I can bake the shit out of those), and do homemade things.

But.....

I'm inherently lazy. I mean there are lots of things I like to do (in theory). Things like knit, and open an etsy shop, and find a job I can do from home AND make enough money to pay the bills, and run.

But...my hands hurt when I try to knit.

Etsy already has ten thousand of any idea I've ever had (and they are all way cuter than anything I could make).

I was an English Major, which means that my second degree gave me the skills I needed to get a job, but somehow teaching from my living room isn't shaping up to be that million dollar work-from-home idea.

The idea of shopping for a sports bra hardy enough to reign in the girls is too overwhelming for words.

So until then I'll continue to read blogs and drool over the craft rooms, and gorgeously wrapped presents, and lovely re-purposed furniture that someone just happened to find in an old barn. And I'll work on small projects and dream of the day when my niece won't need a play room and I can turn it into a crafting mecca....

Classy is my middle name

2011-11-28T18:13:00.000-08:00

There is, in my town, a gated community. A very nice gated community. With guards, and "estates." It holds the type of houses where I imagine that people dress for dinner. The kind of places where the pool house out back is bigger than my first apartment. The kind of neighborhood where the Gilmore's would live (Richard and Emily obviously...Lorelai wouldn't be caught dead there) It's one of those neighborhoods that get made fun of for being snotty and stuck up (and let's be honest....parts of it probably are).

But I have friends that live in the (still very nice) but un-snotty part of the neighborhood. And when I visit them, as I often do, I am usually conscious of the bevy of (very nice) cars going by me in the residents lane while I idle in the visitors lane waiting for another lawn-care truck to get waved through by the guard of the hour.

And often as I sit, I become aware of the fact that my car is old, and dirty, and has a pile of discarded Starbucks cups and empty diet coke cans on the floor of the backseat. And I wonder if the guard is secretly judging me for not living up to the Gated Community standards.

Still I don't spend a lot of time worrying about it (time that could be better used playing reruns of the Gilmore Girls in my head). And, since I'm generally such a classy person, I feel fairly certain that I belong in that particular neighborhood (or at least my friends house).

But then on Friday, I pulled up to the gate around 8:00pm to let the dog out and check the mail, already in my pajamas (sans bra), missing one hubcap, with a piece of pie on a paper plate on the passenger seat and a Styrofoam cup full of cool whip in the cup holder I thought..."way to keep it classy Keener"

And also, this place may be a bit out of my league (I'm way more Lorelai than Emily anyway)

How do I not own this?

2011-11-17T17:36:00.000-08:00

There are a few things you should know about me....

First, I'm pretty much always cold.

Second, I dig crafting.

Knowing this one would think that I would be the proud owner of a Snuggie (Hello? A blanket with sleeves....GENIUS). I could be warm and craft, or read, or play on the computer without having to readjust the blanket to keep me snuggly (OMG do you think that's where they got the name?). I have a plethora of blankets, fleece, wool, big, small, electric, and old fashioned, but I don't own a Snuggie. Which is sad, but I've been able to muddle through life just fine without one thank-you-very-much.

Last week I found myself flipping through one of the approximately 10 million catalogs that have arrived in the mail this month and I came across that can only be described as the GREATEST. SNUGGIE. EVER.

But before you can fully appreciate how completely amazing this particular Snuggie is, you have to know one more thing about me...

Once upon a time it was my dream to be Wonder Woman. Seriously. She is clearly awesome. I spent a good deal of time running around in my Wonder Woman underroos pretending to be her. And so you must understand that when I saw an ad for this

I was immediately transported back to a childhood spent running around our apartment in this...

And it became abundantly clear that THIS Snuggie was made for me!!! (for real yo, I want it)!!

What I Remember

2011-09-11T12:44:00.000-07:00

I remember the phone ringing, not wanting to answer it because I was tired, but answering it anyway.

I remember my mom telling me to turn on the TV because there had been a plane crash, and feeling annoyed because I was scheduled to fly to Paris the next day and who wants to watch news about a plane crash the day before they fly.

I remember the exact shade of green of the shirt I was wearing and the feel of the ottoman against my legs when I pulled it up to sit within a foot of the television.

I remember seeing that second plane enter the screen and disappear into a cloud of fire and smoke, and crying in disbelief.

I remember, with absolute perfect clarity, watching a man and woman holding hands as they fell, and thinking my god, what must it be like for that choice, the choice to jump, be your best option.

I remember yelling, YELLING, at Peter Jennings when the split screen showed the tower begin to sway and then fall, and the look on his face when he realized what had happened.

I remember calling my college roommate who worked in the House of Representatives, when the news reported that a plane had crashed in DC, but they didn't know where.

I remember calling her parents to tell them she was okay, that it wasn't Capital, and that she would call them when she could.

I remember how empty the sky looked without anything flying.

I remember story upon story upon story of ordinary people doing extraordinary things.

I remember thinking that someday I would be teaching my kids about this day and how very odd that seemed.

I remember feeling angry, and sad, and confused, and scared.

I remember standing at ground zero, 9 years and 9 months after that day and still not being able to really comprehend what had happened, and just how enormous the buildings had been, and how difficult the cleanup efforts were.

I remember it like it just happened, and I imagine I always will...

The one where I reminisce about a driveway....

2011-09-01T16:24:00.000-07:00

Hill House comes with a driveway. A steep driveway. I mean seriously steep, like taking the trash down each week is kind of dangerous because if the can gained enough momentum it could totally flatten me.

Here is a totally accurate illustration of the driveway.

Luckily I live in Georgia so at least I don't have to think about things like ice or snow coating the driveway. Or, more accurately, I don't have to worry about ice and snow because if we ever do get ice or snow the entire state basically shuts down so I won't feel obligated to go anywhere until it all goes away...

At first the driveway completely put my sister and I off the house. The first time we drove by and saw it we immediately threw it out as an option. Not only did I have absolutely no desire to drive up it, I most certainly didn't want to have to mow the equally steep front hill.

As it turns out the front hill isn't an issue because I don't mow it (that's what lawn services are for), and the driveway isn't such a big deal because there is enough flat driveway at the top to park, and play, and turn the car around so I don't have to back down that monster hill.

But most importantly the driveway makes me totally nostalgic for childhood (I know, right), but it's totally true.

See, my BFF growing up was a girl named Brenda. Brenda lived in my neighborhood, and I practically lived at her house. Her house, much like Hill House, had a steep driveway. The only difference being that while my driveway is very steep it is relatively short, and her driveway was both steep and l-----o-------n--------g.

In the winter we loved to sled down her front hill and fly off the top retaining wall only to hit the, slightly less steep, bottom portion of the hill. Sometimes we would build a snow ramp and attempt to sled down it off the retaining wall but my aim, as ever, sucked so that never really worked out.

But the absolutely BEST THING EVER was riding down her driveway on my scooter. Oh yeah, I had a scooter. It was a thing of mint-green beauty and I rode is so often that my dad actually had to replace the break pads on it (I'm such a bad ass....wearing out the breaks on a scooter). It looked a little something like this:

Only, as I've mentioned, mint green. And, if riding the scooter wasn't fun enough, Brenda and I used to BOTH sit down on it, legs askew, and ride it down her driveway, across the road, and into the driveway across the street (thank you Peacock family). All the while I was stretching my short little arms as high as possible so I could hold onto the handlebar and "steer", or break if it became necessary.

Looking back, it probably wasn't the safest way to spend the afternoon, but it was super fun. And I think about it every single time I go up or down my driveway, and I kind of wish I had a scooter to try out on this driveway.

B-I-G Ideas

2011-08-22T16:03:00.000-07:00

The thing about adoption is that it costs money. A LOT of money. And while there are any number of things I worry about on a daily basis (is the puppy going to pee in the house, is that a gray hair on my head, where is the closest exit and how quickly can I get to my niece if the house is suddenly stormed my kidnappers...you know, the usual) there is one thing that takes the worry trophy and that is money.

And I hate that it is money.

Because this house was the right decision. There is space for a baby, work is ridiculously close, the school district is great, and I love it....but the adoption fund took a hit.

And I knew it would.

But, yikes! It was a big hit.

And I've decided that what I need is an IDEA (yes, in all caps). Like and epic harry-potter-meets-twilight-meets-any-other-damn-thing-that-just-popped-into-the-heads-of-their-creators type of idea. Because I every time I think of something I could make, or sell I find 25 of them on Etsy (and way cuter than I could have done), and I don't thinking selling my eggs would work (but don't think I haven't thought of it, or the irony of it), but I know I need something.

I have a second job.
I'm saving a crap-ton of money in this new house since I split everything with my sister.
My gas bill went down to almost nothing since I can see work from my backyard.

But I've done the yard sales, and I have nothing left to sell.
And I've done the budget, and I have nothing more to save.

But if I'm perfectly honest there is one thing that I haven't really done, haven't honestly done and that is pray. I mean for real pray. Specifically pray. Just for what I need. Because honestly, honestly, it works. I know it works. I've seen it work.

And it's just me, my doubts, my worries, my me-ness, that has prevented me from truly believing that I can trust Him with this worry, with this need. Which is ridiculous because I fully trust Him to bring my daughter home. Seriously, that worry never enters my mind because I am absolutely certain that my child will come home when the time is right.

So why is it so hard to believe that He will help me find a way to get the money so that He can bring her home?

(and wow did this post go off in a direction I wasn't expecting, so I give. I'm listening, and I'm praying...and okay, I'm still thinking of BIG ideas but only because I think it would rule to retire and work from home)

The One Where I Complain About Health Insurance

2011-08-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that I have some medical needs. Things are actually pretty awesome in the RA department, but even when I'm feeling good I still have to take medicine daily to maintain the good. Until recently this has been no big deal. I have insurance which covers a bulk of the cost. My local pharmacists know me on sight. And I (usually) remember to order my refills in time.

All was going well until last month when my insurance company decided that my expensive medication (enbrel) had to now come from a "specialty" pharmacy. As far as I can tell the only thing "special" about their pharmacy is that it's especially annoying.

When I have to pick up my enbrel from my local pharmacy I get this.

I can call the pharmacy on a Friday when I need the enbrel on Saturday. It takes me 5 minutes to get to the store. And, as an added bonus, I can pick up a Diet Coke, or People magazine while I'm there.

Under the new policy (which is supposed to make the process easier), I have to call the pharmacy at least a week in advance. They then bug the crap out of me on the phone (um, no I don't want to sign up for anything I just want my medication, and I'm already annoyed that I have to call you to do that so lets just move on shall we).

And did you notice how small the box is that my medicine is in? Yeah, because this is the package that came in the mail today....

And inside that giant box was an equally giant styrofoam cooler

And inside that giant styrofoam cooler were three cold packs, and one tiny box of meds....

And YES the cooler and ice packs are necessary to keep the syringes at the right temperature...but seriously? Mother Nature is SOOOO pissed at me right now (and I blame you Health Insurance)!

The Waiting Game

2011-08-06T17:56:00.000-07:00

I often imagine that waiting to get THE call from my adoption agency saying that I've been chosen by a birth mother is akin to that 3 minutes you have to wait between peeing on the stick and seeing that little pink line.....times, like, a million!

And in the months since my papers became official at the agency I've only had one of these moments. At the beginning of a 12 hour car ride I got an email about a "situation" (as they call them), asking if I would be interested in the birth mother viewing my profile (Duh). And even though I knew I shouldn't, my mind shifted into overdrive and I had this baby in my arms, in my life, and in my heart almost as soon as I pressed send.

This could be it, this could be my daughter, this stranger on an email could be tied to me forever through adoption.

I told five people about the email. Five people who I knew would keep it close to their hearts. Who wouldn't ask me 15 times a day if I'd heard anything yet. Five people who I consider family, even though three of them technically aren't. Five people who I know will be a part of my daughters life.

And after the longest weekend of my life, I had to tell those five people that I hadn't been chosen. That the little girl who had lived in my imagination wouldn't be coming home to me. That this was not THE call, simply A call.

It sucked

And again I imagine it's like waiting for that line to turn pink, for the test to say yes, for those three minutes to change your life forever.

So while I wait for my turn, for my pink line, for my life to change forever I'll continue my endless dreaming, my imagining, my wondering....and I'll try very, very hard not to pee on any sticks (because I really don't think it'll help).

Para-whating?

2011-07-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

I don't about you but when I think about parasailing I think about one thing...Jurassic Park III.

What? You don't? Oh, come on, you remember the opening scene right? People innocently enjoying a day of parasailing while hoping to catch a dinosaur on their sweet camcorder when suddenly the boat runs into a mysterious thick fog and is obscured from view (are you with me now) and once the fog rolls back out again the innocent parasailers are shocked to see that the boat is now empty and they wind up stranded on an island overrun with scary dinosaurs and it's up to Dr. Alan Grant to come in and rescue them.

It's pretty much the main reason why I've never gone parasailing before since dinosaurs are super scary.

But despite all that I decided to give parasailing a whirl while I was at the beach since I was fairly certain that there would be no mysterious fog (or retired billionaires trying to genetically recreate dinosaurs from the blood they found inside a mosquito trapped in fossilized sap) in Gulf Shores, Alabama which is how I found myself strapped into a harness attached to a parachute on the back of a boat in the Gulf of Mexico...and it ruled.

Of course me being me I spent most of the ride using only the power of my mind to keep the rope connecting us to the boat secure (only one knot? really?), and also making contigency plans in case my mind power failed and the rope snapped in which case I tried to remember everything I could from movies about people jumping into large bodies of water from great heights (mainly to keep my feet together to prevent breaking them, and my arms crossed in front of my chest to prevent breaking...them). And I was very proud of my quick thinking survival skills until my sister pointed out that I was attached to a PARACHUTE and that if the rope I was keeping secure through mind power were to fail I would just, you know, float...

But at least there were no dinosaurs.

Testicles are NOT food...and other reasons why I have trouble with change

2011-06-27T20:37:00.000-07:00

As a general rule I'm not a fan of change. I like order, and structure, and routine. I do NOT like disorder, or chaos, or uncertainty.

This is the reason why my house doesn't get redecorated for every season.

Why I still like the same foods as I did as a kid (with the exception of the great Mustard Revelation of 2002).

Why my hair stays the same.

Why I don't rearrange furniture.

Order GOOD. Change BAD. ...these are words I live by (along with my motto: "just because they make it in your size doesn't mean you should wear it").

But last month I suddenly found myself surrounded by chaos and change. My sister and I bought a new house and were stuck in moving limbo for what seemed like eternity. I arranged, and rearranged, and rearranged movers and delivery trucks, and the cable guy, and the bug guy, and the gas guy. It sucked (thanks for nothing Wells Fargo).

On top of that, I found myself in the position to accept a new job, in a new town, with completely new and different rules and responsibilities. And while it is very exciting and I'm very happy with the new position and can't wait for school to start (gasp)...it's also kind of scary.

But now that we're settled in the new house, and boxes are beginning to be unpacked, and rooms are starting to get painted, and research is being done on the new job, I'm discovering that change is actually pretty awesome.

While I'm not saying that I'm going to suddenly run out and change everything else in my life I am saying that it's probably not a bad idea to start introducing some change into my (kinda boring) life.

So I'll be willing to try new things.

Go new places.

Eat new foods*

And let change not be so scary.

*seriously though, you can dress up your testicles and call them mountain oysters all the live-long day...they are still not food

I've been a bad, bad....blogger

2011-06-27T19:07:00.000-07:00

Wow I kind of suck at this blogging thing.

Parade Etiquette

2010-12-07T18:34:00.000-08:00

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who love parades, and those who don't. People who love parades get excited weeks in advance. They camp out in the wee hours of the morning to set chairs up in the ideal viewing location. They come prepared with drinks and snacks and chairs and blankets and (sometimes) even RVs.

People who don't love parades get annoyed with them because they disrupt traffic. But they go anyway because they have kids or nieces and nephews who are parade-loving-fools.

This weekend I found myself at a parade. And it was ~~cold~~ fun! Despite my status as one who does not love parades I'll admit that it was nice seeing so many of my students up on floats (even the ones who didn't look thrilled to be there). Plus, the parade had the most awesome Grand Marshall, ever!

With all of the friends, and blankets, and sights, and small town coziness you'd think it would be perfect...you'd be wrong. Because aside from the kids, and students, and floats, and friends, and Christmas cheer, there were also PSYCHO ADULTS who clearly went insane when candy was thrown into the crowd. And I promise I'm not exagerrating. These GROWN women were running around grabbing up handfuls of candy (seriously they had BAGS full at the end). They would snatch up pieces of candy that my four year old niece was about to pick up (as in run up to her and grab the candy out from under her hand right before she actually touched it). It was nuts Crazy, rude, inappropriate, and NUTS. The most ridiculuous part was that the little boy they had with them would hand my niece a piece of candy if he picked it up when she was reaching for it (clearly he had more manners than the grownups). Don't get me wrong, my niece got plenty of candy...but that is not the point.

For future reference, lets take a moment to review some basic Parade Etiquette...

1. Don't take candy from small children
2. Don't stand in front of small children to try and get to the candy before they do
3. Don't take candy from small children
4. Don't put horses in between the fire truck and loud garbage truck (it'll scare the shit out of them...for real)
5. Don't take candy from small children
6. Don't take candy from small children
7. Don't take candy from small children
8. Don't take candy from small children
9. Don't take candy from small children
10. Don't take candy from small children

Any questions?

My hardest year won't come close to hers...

2010-08-09T20:11:00.000-07:00

There was a year, not that long ago, that I call my hardest year. It was a year of teaching that started with great joy. A new school, a new job, a new niece coming home from China, new students, new friends. It was great. I won't pretend that every day was perfect, but it was a pretty awesome year.

Unfortunately, as these things go, it did not stay awesome. Unexpected and unwelcome pain came into my joints, a great friend experienced a great loss, and a friend and colleague passed away. Things went from being pretty awesome, to pretty unbearable in the the span of a month....

And despite all of that, despite the pain, and grief, and loss, there was my 1st period math class. And they were awesome. They were awesome through everything. They held each other up and cried together when they lost a great teacher. They worked together through a grief that most had never know. They never laughed, never mocked, never spoke unkindly about anyone going through that pain. They were a great example to me. An example of compassion, and love, and strength.

On days when my physical pain was too much, they offered to open my diet coke (clearly they understood the importance of my morning diet coke). They helped uncap pens, open doors, carry books. They asked how I was, how I felt, if I needed anything. They were great and they will forever hold a very special place in my heart. They, quite honestly, helped me get through that year.

In that class, among so many great and amazing kids, there sat a tiny girl (close to the front so she could see, which I can say since I was a short kid too). She may have been small, but she was Mighty, with a grin that could knock your socks off. She worked with intensity to get very problem right. She offered her help to anyone who might need it (me included). She never complained, or frowned, she was joyous...always.

She is a little bigger now, despite my belief that all of my former students remain frozen in the 6th grade, she has grown. But she still has that grin, and laugh, and spunky attitude. She is still Mighty. And she is fighting a great battle. A battle against cancer. A battle that she CAN beat. A battle that is being fought with doctors, and medication, and attitude, and (above all) prayer.

I won't post her name, but you can be sure that God knows who I'm talking about. Won't you join me in praying for her? For health and healing. For a continued positive attitude. For her family to stay strong. For her doctors to be wise. For the cancer to be defeated. For the Mighty to overcome!

The Topsy-Turvy and Me

2010-07-06T12:46:00.000-07:00

I am willing to admit, without shame, that I love infomercials. I mean I really, really love them. As in, I will watch them (over and over) if it's a good one. Now, despite my love of all things "as seen on TV", I have never actually ordered anything from an informercial...although I have been tempted. That's not to say of course, that some of these items haven't found their way into my house (hello, George Forman...yes he started as an informercial).

One of the best "as seen on TV" items that I've coveted is the Topsy Turvy. Say what you will, that thing is AWESOME. I mean, it's tomatoes that hang in the air....sweet!! I've talked about it, thought about it, and dreamed about it (don't judge me). I've scoffed at peoples comments that the thing doesn't work, that it's a rip-off, that tomatoes can be easily grown in the ground. I mean, come on, it's awesome!

This year I got one as a gag gift for my birthday from Bridget. To say that I was excited is kind of an understatement. I may have told everyone I knew that I finally had one, and bragged about how awesome my tomatoes would be.

And then the Topsy Turvy sat in my house for several months, mainly due to the fact that the directions said it hung from a post and that would require me to actually hang up a hook on a post which I wasn't terribly motivated to do.

Luckily my mom heard about my dilemma and told me that she had several Shepards Hooks in her shed that she wasn't using and that I could have one. With renewed vigor, I headed over to get the hook and to finally get my Topsy Turvy started. However....when picking up the hook I ran into my mom's friend of who told me that there was NO WAY the shepards hook would work. She had tried it last year and her husband had ended up having to build a whole new system to support it.

Well, that was simply too much work for me. I mean, I liked the Topsy Turvy, but I wanted it to be easy. You know, like it is on the infomercial. Those old people are happily watering it while enjoying fresh tomatoes, I wanted to be those old people. And, since I wasn't quite ready to give up, I headed to the store to buy soil and a tomato plant. You'd think that would be easy.

You'd be wrong.

I bought the wrong kind of soil (who knew there was even such a thing as the wrong kind of soil...dirt is dirt, right?). Then I couldn't get the shepards hook in the ground. Then I got seriously annoyed and just planted the whole thing in a pot.

I figured it was still okay. I had a plant, it was planted (in the wrong soil), and soon I would be enjoying fresh cherry tomatoes (since I had bought a CHERRY tomato plant). Except, clearly I hadn't.

Here's hoping it at least tastes good. And, in case you're wondering, the Topsy Turvy is still in the box in the backyard where it is turning yellow from sitting in the sun....

Taming the Chaos

2010-07-03T18:49:00.000-07:00

If I haven't mentioned it before there are big changes afoot in my house. My sister and I first started talking about the possiblity of combining households for over a year. We brought it up last summer when the news was full of gloom and doom regarding school systems and teacher salaries. We planned, we made lists (well I made lists). and we talked endlessly about the pets and the furniture and the stuff that we have. We ultimately decided that it would be possible for the three of us (My sister, my niece, and I) to all live comfortabaly in my house....but that we weren't ready just yet.

Fast forward one school year and we've faced salary cuts, furlough days, and more gloom and doom in the news. She was anxious to pay off some debt and I was anxious to get started on my own adoption so we decided to take the plunge. We spent several months working to get her house ready to sell and to turn my 2 bedroom (and a loft) house into a 3 bedroom house. Painting was done, furniture was moved, boxes were packed, and her house was staged and put on the market. Now I don't want to jinx anything, but she is currently under contract (after only a month on the market) and she closes in just a few weeks. Woohoo!!!!! Of course, the sale was a huge relief and we celebrated briefly before realizing that, holy cow, do we have a lot of work to get done! Right now the house looks like a disaster zone but I just keep telling myself that it has to get messier before it can get cleaner.......right?

My sister insists that I point out that most of the boxes in this picture are, in fact, empty.

There is SO much trash....I was apparently trying to fill all of the kitchen cabinets just because I could and not because I actually needed all that space!!

Our one spot of organized loveliness in the midst of the insanity...I look at it often

I managed to finally clean out the closet in my niece's new room...after talking about doing it for months...

Now I just have to figure out how to get all of this stuff into my closet....

Awesome Amish

2010-06-23T08:17:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a visit to Pennsylvania and, just like always, I found myself completely enamored with all things Amish. I mean, come on, the barns, the horses, the buggies, the Rumschpringe ...it's almost like Little House on the Prairie only with more of a dress code.

This, of course, let to my inevitable "wouldn't it be like totally awesome to be Amish" moment. Where I think about how nice it would be to get away from the world. How peaceful it must be without the TV or radio or internet. How, even if I were to still be a teacher in my alternate Amish Universe, all the kids are like totally polite. How idyllic the farming lifestyle is (Side-note, when I have this fantasy I like to conviently leave out all of the hard work involved in actual farming and focus on the TV version where farmers are peaceful, hardworking, God-fearing folks).

Then again, I look around and realize that I'm writing this post on my laptop with the TV on and have gotten about 6 texts in the last 5 minutes. I also realize that sleeping until noon is probably discourage in the Amish world, as are pants for girls. And, since I'd rather get a massage then wear a skirt (side note 2, the very idea of getting a massage sends me into near panic mode so this is, in fact, not a good thing), I suppose I'll have to make due with just visiting Amish Country and not actually being Amish.

Although deep down inside I still think it would be kind of awesome to be Amish...for like, a week.

The Shed....Part 1

2010-05-07T15:18:00.000-07:00

This is my yard

This is my yard after I leave a large box containing a Shed that I can't manage to put together sitting on the grass for over a month in all sorts of weather.

This is the Shed (still in the box) after being rained on for the 4th or 5th time

But, never fear good people. I have some exciting news. Wonderful news. News to be shouted from the rooftops of towns, and toasted with yummy frosty drinks.

The shed is now......

Out of the box

And that my friends, is totally a step in the right direction!

Down with Wallpaper!

2010-04-21T15:59:00.000-07:00

After wanting to rip the last of the wallpaper out of my house for years (literally since I moved in), I finally tackled the job over Spring Break. Well that may be overstating it just a bit, but I at least started over Spring Break...it took a bit longer than expected (what with me being completely unmotivated when it came right down to it). But now I have a beautiful, new, wallpaper FREE, bathroom. Or, more specifically, my sister and niece have a beautiful, new, wallpaper free bathroom!

Stories

2010-04-01T17:49:00.000-07:00

There are things that every teacher does that school could never, ever prepare you for. The rude children, the overwhelming amount of paperwork, the insanity of middle schoolers in the week before vacation to name a few. And then there are those things that are so outrageous that they enter the world of myth, they become the stories that we sit around telling each other when things get to stressful. Every teacher has a few, and I have more than my share:

The Rat
Mopposite Boy
M and the Celery
Anything involving my evil genius
Rock NO
and many more....

Some stories are hilarious, some are sad, some make me remember why the heck I do this job, and some make me question my career choice. For example: there was one year when my sister (hope you don't mind Noelle), became the Patron Saint of Menstruation. No seriously, for some reason every 6th grade girl experiencing that special moment came and told my sister. The conversation generally went like this:
Student: "Ms. K, I have to tell you something"
Noelle: "okay"
Student: "I got my period"
Noelle: "Do you need to go to the nurse?"
Student: "No"
Noelle: "Do you have everything you need?"
Student: "yes"
Noelle: "Do you have any questions?"
Student: "No"
Noelle: "okay, go to class"

This happened, a LOT, and not always by students she knew well. It was weird

I can't tell you the number of times that I've had to explain the importance of showering and deodorant. And you can't even being to imagine what an awkward conversation is until you've had to call a parent to tell them that their child has been habitually masturbating in your class. Double the awkwardness when the student is a girl. Triple the awkwardness when the parent then asks you to speak to the kid about it....they most definitely don't pay me enough for that.

But they do make excellent stories!

International Adoption: As explained by a three year old

2010-03-27T13:09:00.000-07:00

I've been off-line lately which has be great for getting things done around my house but not so great for my internet addiction (or maybe it was good for that also). Long story short my beautiful, shiny, new computer BROKE. But never fear, dell is sending me a new one (probably because I haven't finished paying for the broken one), and until then I'm borrowing some computer time at my parents while everyone is out shopping.

And now for the story that inspired the title of this post....

My niece Ella, aside from being the most entertaining 3 year old out there, also happens to have been adopted from China. She knows all about adoption and asks questions about it pretty frequently. We have a big group of adoption friends who we get together with frequently so it's not like any part of the process is a secret, I just didn't know she paid such close attention! The other morning we had the following conversation on the way to school.

Ella: "Jesse, how old your dau-er (daughter) is"
Me: "I'm not sure Ella, probably around 2"
Ella: "How big she is?"
Me: "Smaller than you"
Ella: "Jesse, you got to do all that paperwork so you can go and get her just like my mama got me"
Me: "I'm working on it"
Ella: "Ms. Kim did all her paperwork por (for) she can go get Little Mister David"
Me: "I know, Ms. Kim is just faster than me"
Ella: "But I want her"
Me: "Me too Ella, me too"

If only it were really that simple!!!

Olympic Fever

2010-02-16T18:32:00.000-08:00

I'll admit it, I totally have Olympic Fever and I know I'm not alone in this. I watch sports rarely, less than rarely really, but once every four years I get obsessed with the Olympics. (I say every four years because the Summer Olympics just don't do it for me, after gymnastics and diving I'm pretty much out). But for the Winter Olympics? I'll watch just about anything, all of that skiing and skating and snowboarding and sledding (I'm talking about you bobsledders and lugers), that stuff is wicked fun to watch. It also helps that those athletes are all a little bit nuts, you'd have to be to do what they do. I love every cheesy, over the top, stupid dramatic, piece of it.

Touching stories about athletes overcoming adversity? Love it!

Profiles of countries and places that I've never heard of? Love it!

Restrospective looks at every mistake an athlete made at the last Olympics followed by the word "redemption" said at least 1000 times a broadcast? Love it!

Instant replays everytime someone falls down? Love it!

Watching the Olympians tear up at the medals ceromony and tearing up myself no matter what national anthem is playing? Love it!

I love it all, but the snowboarding? Oh the snowboarding.... I admit to be unabashedly jealous of the snowboarders. I want to be able to do that! Not enough to actually learn mind you, because I don't want to be a beginner, I want to be good and I'd like to start out that way. Clearly this as good a reason as any to just dream about it and not actually do it. None of the other sports look nearly as cool as the snowboarding. None of the other athletes look nearly as fun to hang out with. It is by far my favorite Winter Olympic sport (and I realize they snowboard at other times that I could watch on tv but it's just to stressful!) I'm tell you the reason I never watch sports is probably because it's to exhausting to love something this much. From every over the top opening ceremony to the torch being extinguished I just love the Winter Olympics, heck I'll probably even watch Curling (if just to marvel at the fact that it is an actual sport), but Snowboarding will always be my favorite!

Times they are a changin'

2010-02-08T18:16:00.000-08:00

To put it mildly the economy sucks, I mean really sucks.   People are losing jobs, houses, savings, and retirement funds. I have been very lucky that I haven't lost any of that and, despite my whining about it, I am grateful to have a job. Still, paychecks keep getting cut, class sizes are getting bigger, stress levels are rising, and expectations keep getting more unbelievable...

For over a year my sister and I have talked about what we would do if the economy sunk so low that having separate houses no longer made sense. We talked about selling both our houses to buy a larger (but cheaper) home, we talked about renting, refinancing, and moving in with our parents (hi mom). We talked, and talked, and talked, and talked. And finally we decided that it was time. Next year is going to bring more cuts to the education budget (thanks government) and, while Dave Ramsey has made a huge difference in how I approach money, I won't be able to save nearly as much as I would like.   She is in a similar boat and although she isn't saving for an adoption she would like to pay down some debt.

The next few months are going to be full of changes at my house because I'm about to get two roommates, one sister/best friend, and one adorable (although kinda loud) three year old,.   It is going to be mutually beneficial on both parts and should be good fun. We've voluntarily lived together before, much to our parents surprise, and are looking forward to doing it again. I'll be able to save for Bulgaria while also paying down debt, and she will get to pay down debt and start saving for life. It will definitely take some adjusting but we are both looking forward to it. My once neglected loft will soon become home to some awesome IKEA wardrobes (hello sale), and the guest room downstairs will become a room for cousins to share....someday!

So bring it on Economy, Bring. It. On.

Black & White

2010-02-04T17:04:00.000-08:00

I guess its time to get this out in the open....I think black and white movies are boring. And yes I do mean all black and white movies. I can't help it, I guess my brain just isn't wired for that. I need color, bright bold over-the-top color. I've tried to like black and white movies, I really have. I've seen It's a Wonderful Life and, sorry Clarence, I hated it. Any not just a little....

I mean come on...nothing even blows up. It's boring, a friend recently told me that black and white movies make her sleepy, and I totally agree. I practically needed an IV drip of caffeine to make it through Casablanca and I really, really wanted to like that one (it's a classic).

Call me unpolished, uncouth, or a product of my generation but seriously I need action and adventure and cute boys and color! I'd rather watch Lethal Weapon (it's funny and stuff blows up), The Hangover (it's funny and there are cute boys), Die Hard (stuff blows up and there are cute boys), or The Sound of Music (threw you with that one huh, but really folks musicals win me over every time...unless they're in black and white).

So maybe I'll never be a film critic or a member of the Academy but, I'm ok with that. And if you're a movie that is musical, or funny, or has cute boys or explosions then my house is the place to be...black and white movies need not apply (although I do accept the cheesy and sappy as well).

For Alyssa

2010-01-07T16:17:00.000-08:00

In the world of Adoption there are many, many wonderful stories that are told about bringing families together. I have read dozens of wonderful stories and seen hundreds of blogs with happy endings.

Alyssa's story is not one of those happy endings.

I've gotten permission from Alyssa's adoptive mom to link her story here. I share it because I feel that it is a story that needs to be told, that people need to hear. So that this can be prevented from ever happening again. I wish I had power, or knew important people, or could do something to help... I feel powerless, hopeless, and helpless and I know that none of that, none of what any of us feel when we read Alyssa's story is even close to what her mom feels.

Please read it, please think of Alyssa, please pray for a solution. If enough people know, if enough people care, then maybe this could lead to a happy ending...if not for Alyssa then for others who have been put in the same situation.

And...if you know anyone with power feel free to pass this along

A Year in Books

2010-01-02T19:58:00.000-08:00

These days it seems like everyone is blogging about 2009 and all of the trials and tribulations that it held. I decided to do something a little different and share my year in books. Several years ago I started keeping track of all the books I read during the year because I was curious about the number. 2008 brought in 112 books due mainly to the state of my RA and the fact that I really couldn't do much else that year, crafting was most definitely out and even typing was hard, so I read a LOT. This year I finished up my last book of the year at around 3:00pm on December 31st while at my BFFs house enjoying the quiet when literally everyone else there was napping (even the dogs). That book brought my grand total for the year to 73, less than the previous year but only because I'm back to being able to use my hands!! I love keeping track of the books I've read because it's fun to look back and remember all the great things I've read over the year. So here is my retrospective for 2009...in books

January

Yellow Star by Jennifer Roy - This is one of the many books I've read out of the school library and is by far the most uplifting Holocaust book I've ever read. I can hear you saying to yourself "Really? An uplifting Holocaust book", but I promise it is. Great for parents and kids (11+), a wonderful fast read.

February

The Sex Lives of Cannibals by J. Maarten Troost - A hilarious travel narrative about a man and his wife moving to the South Pacific (to a place I'd never, ever heard of). A great read for anyone who likes to travel, dreams of traveling, or just likes to read about traveling!

March

Dragonfly in Amber by Diana Gabaldon - One of the Outlander series, which my friend Jenn hooked me onto (on a side note go check out her recipes, you will not regret it!). The whole series is a great mix of historical fiction, action, adventure, and sexy Scotsman, all wrapped up into one great series of books.

April

Okay let me preface this book by stating that I read the first book in this series before the 3rd one was even published so I've been in on it since the beginning and not just caught up in all the hoopla. My book for April is Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer - This remains my favorite book of the series, and I won't go into anything else about that!

May

Pretty in Plaid by Jen Lancaster - If you're not reading Jen's books, or checking out her hilarious website then you should. She is a riot and I've never been disappointed with any of her fantastic, hilarious, sarcastic memoirs.

June

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J. K. Rowling - In honor of the 6th moving coming out in July of 2009, I had to reread the entire series (because I'm that girl), so I started with the first and plowed my way through the whole series in time to see the movie. And yes I'll do it again when the book is made into a movie (twice since it's being split into two films).

July

The Reader by Bernhard Schlink - I'll admit that I wanted to read this book because the movie was coming out and I wanted to see it. Well, I ended up liking the book so much that I refused to watch the movie because I didn't want it to ruin the pictures I had in my head!

August
The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella - When school starts back up after a long summer of relaxing then I just have to read things that pure fun and fluff. This book delivered, it was funny and touching, and easy to read. Plus (bonus) it takes place in England so I get to read the whole thing with a British accent!

September
Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner - This is a sequel to Good in Bed (which I also reread this month), and was fantastic. I love the way Weiner is able to write both as the main character and her teenage daughter and be completely believable. I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more, it was wonderful!

October
The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown - Okay so I caved to peer pressure and bought this book, but it was really good. And, as long as you're not crazy and believe that everything he writes is true (his books are in the FICTION section people), then just sit back and enjoy the story!

November
Handle With Care by Jodi Picoult - I'll read any book she writes and love them all. Although the material in her books makes them all difficult to read (I always need to read fluff after one of her books), but are all beautifully written and wonderful to read.

December
Under the Jolly Roger by L. A. Meyer - This is the 3rd in a series of young adult books and is also the last book I read in 2009! The series follows a young girl who is orphaned, lives on the streets, and finally stow aboard a British ship disguised as a boy to join the British Navy. Although it is a young adult series I'd say that after book 3 it is probably not appropriate for kids younger than 13 or 14.

So there it is, my Year in Books. Some kids books, some adult books, some mysteries, some chick lit, and a whole lot of fun. Here's to 2010 and all the books it holds!!

Confessions Part 3

2009-12-28T18:43:00.000-08:00

It's the end of another year, the perfect time to purge the closets of clothes, the drawers of junk, and the house of all that extra stuff that you don't really need. It's also the perfect time for confessions, and resolutions....

So here's Round Three of my confessions

1. When I watch television shows on DVD I have to look a the title of each show, and read the summary. It's true, even if I've seen the show before I still have to do it. I hate the "Play All" button.

2. My alarm clock goes off three separate times in the morning because I like to wake up slowly, I'm guessing this is one of the many positive aspects to living alone since I suspect if anyone else had to listen to three alarms each morning things wouldn't be so pleasant

3. Despite my tendency to ramble on and on, I have actually gone an entire 24 hours without speaking, at all. And I did it just to see if I could (cause I'm weird like that).

4. I hate cold weather but am to cheap to turn my heat above 65 unless I have guests over and then I do it out of guilt.

5. I get horribly embarrassed by awkward people doing embarrassing things on TV and therefore can't watch most reality shows because they make me queasy and uncomfortable. And if I do watch them I do so with the remote in my hand ready to turn the channel if necessary.

6. While I never, in a million years, would ever want to be on The Real World, I am sad that I'm to old to be on it because it makes me feel...well, old.

7. No matter where I am, in any building, I always make sure to know the fastest way to the exit. Although nothing has ever happened to make this information necessary I like to be prepared just in case. (side note: B, don't pretend like you don't do the exact same thing)

8. I like driving, a LOT, except for in the rain which sucks, or when going over a bridge.

9. I call it "E! Entertainment Television" Every. Single. Time. Deal with it

10. I've only been able to keep 1 New Year's Resolution in my entire life and it was this year so I'm quitting while I'm ahead and resolving to not make any more New Year's Resolutions

Farewell 2009...here's to a better and brighter 2010!!

Rookie Mistake

2009-12-22T19:30:00.000-08:00

When Christmas time rolled around during my first year as a teacher I was beyond excited. Here we were during my favorite time of the year (excluding my birthday, obviously), and it was my first year in the classroom. Tiny fireworks were exploding inside my head on a daily basis, and the craziness of the entire season lead to my first big rookie mistake.
Christmas Presents

Now, I've gotten some pretty awesome things over the years. A LOT of chocolate, some adorable hand written cards, Christmas pins (which I always put on so the kids can see that i'm wearing them) but that first year, oh that first year....I got a present that trumps all other gifts. A gift that lives in infamy. A gift that I (and here's the big mistake) opened in front of the student......sexy pajamas

with a greese stain on them

and they were itty bitty

and yellow

and I am not itty bitty

and yellow is not my color

You can imagine my surprise at this particular gift. After all, I had just opened a bag of christmas cookies, a new pin (which I was wearing), a Snow Globe with a students picture in it, and several cards. So when faced with a pair of yellow silk and lace short shorts and a tiny tank top I was left, for perhaps the first time ever, speechless. I stammered, I stuttered, I declined holding them up for the rest of the class to see, and I fled to my friends classroom as soon as I had taken my kids to PE. I was both relieved, and slightly horrified, to see that she had gotten a similar gift. And, while mine had a grease stain, she only got the top half of hers so clearly I was the winner.

Plus I learned a valuable lesson, and now, when faced with any sort of gift from a student I polietly accept, and then open them in PRIVATE!

Also, writing a thank you note to a 5th grader who has just given you sexy pajamas required all my creative writing skills to make it sound, you know, not creepy.

If you thought I had a lot of stuff before....

2009-12-04T18:51:00.000-08:00

Check me out now!

Sale SATURDAY, DECEMBER 5th 7-12

Yard Sale: Before

2009-12-01T17:12:00.000-08:00

I am feeling overwhelmed

And blessed

That so many friends

Have donated so much

For my Yard Sale

This Saturday

From 7-12 (or until people quit buying)

All Proceeds to benefit my Adoption Fund

**And this doesn't even included the Solid Cherry Dining table, or the additional carload, and a shed FULL of stuff being delivered later in the week.**

New Year's Resolutions

2009-11-29T17:03:00.000-08:00

I confess...I suck at New Year's Resolutions. No really, it's true. I have never, ever been able to keep a Resolution that I make on January 1st (usually they're broken by January 2nd). This year I was determined to be different, this year I would make, and stick to, a resolution. Now I could have cheated and resolved to be more sarcastic but that would have been cheating (although I totally could have kept that one). Instead I decided that my resolution would be something concrete, something that I could see and touch, something that I was actually capable of doing.

And I did!

I resolved this year to finish making the tree skirt that I had begun 2 years previously. A tree skirt whose completion was interrupted by life and RA and a complete inability to use my hands for about a year. So I did, and after 3 years of working I must say that it was so worth the wait!

Now I have to think of a new resolution......I may have to revisit that be more sarcastic idea.

Thankful

2009-11-10T17:40:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of Thanksgiving I've been thinking about all the things that I'm grateful for, and here's what I came up with...

Today I'm thankful, enormously thankful, tremendously thankful, that Facebook wasn't around when I was in college (not that it was that long ago). College was fun, very fun, at times it was probably entirely too much fun, but it was also not plastered all of the internet. The things that I remember remain fond, if hazy, memories. The things that I've forgotten, well they are certainly better off forgotten. Those were carefree days when not every piece of electronic equipment housed a camera and you didn't have to worry about pictures from a party showing up online before you managed to stumble home (although some of those old school albums that keep popping up are pretty funny). And yes, I realize that I sound like my grandmother, waxing poetic about the Victrola and Model-T, but seriously not everything is meant for public consumption. Can you imagine all the dumb stuff I would have done? My mouth and brain were not always connected during those years so I can't imagine what I would have posted, or who I would have poked or stalked (well actually, yes I think we all know what that would have been...). I did, and do, enough embarrassing stuff without the help of the World Wide Web.

So for now, I will remain grateful that the most embarrassing thing I did at a computer back then was send the occasional sad and lame email, and write a lots and lots of really bad stories.

In the Heights

2009-11-08T17:59:00.000-08:00

Let me start off by saying that Musical Theater is my happy place (mostly because I firmly believe that my life would be a lot better if I were allowed to burst into song occasionally and have people dance around me). This weekend I had the chance to go see In The Heights at the Fox Theater in Atlanta. I've been excited about this show since I saw it win the Tony for Best Musical (among other things) in 2008, and couldn't wait to see the first national tour. The show is a blend of Hip-Hop, Rap, and Latin music that makes even me want to get up and dance. Which, considering that the last time I wanted to dance was at a college semi-formal where copious amounts of liquid made me think it would be a good idea to "shake my groove thing", is a pretty amazing feat.

The tour is led by Kyle Beltran (who just graduated from college in 09...how incredible). Beltran plays the lead role of Usnavi (originated by Lin-Manuel Miranda, the composer/lyricist of In the Heights). Although skeptical of anyone else in that role, I was completely convinced before the end of the opening number. His absolute enthusiasm on the stage made him a joy to watch. Not to be outdone, the rest of the cast delivered performances that were all their own while still remaining true to the characters that the Broadway cast has brought to life. Isabel Santiago (Daniela) was particularly amazing to watch, so much so that it is utterly impossible for me to imagine her as anything but her character. Aside from a spectacular voice, she has seemingly perfect comedic timing and delivered each line impeccably. Natalie Toro (Camila) was equally amazing and made me never, ever want to tick her off! Shaun Taylor-Corbett (Sonny) was fantastic and funny, and could garner laughs from the audience without saying a word.

I could talk about every cast member, as well as the crew, because they all put 100% of themselves into the show and made it incredible, so much so that after seeing it on Friday night I splurged and bought tickets to see it again on Saturday afternoon (totally worth it, budget be damned)!

I am actually very glad that I saw it again on Saturday because an interesting little thing happened. After the intermission, which seemed to last an extra long time, an announcement was made that the role of Usnavi would now be played by Shaun Taylor-Corbett. It was particularly fascinating for a dork like me to see how he was able to go from playing Sonny in the first act, to Usnavi in the second act (although I did wonder what prompted the change). He did a great job and I loved seeing how everything about him, from his tone of voice to the way he carried himself across the stage changed completly for this new character. I understand that this is what actors do, but seeing it so literally on the stage was particularly awesome.

If the tour is coming anywhere near you, you should seriously check it out. And, if you don't want to go alone, give me a call. After all, I've already blown the budget once, might as well do it again!

Ups and Downs

2009-11-03T18:51:00.000-08:00

Sometimes being a grown-up can really suck. Seriously, adults have to make some crappy decisions sometimes and there are moments when I wish I could just ignore things until they go away. Unfortunately that can't happen, so instead I occasionally indulge myself in a box of Lucky Charms to feed my inner child.

I've spent a LOT of time lately thinking about adoption, and money, and adoption, and money, and money, and money, and money which I hate because this is so not about the money. The thing is that I am 100% committed to adopting, but I'm also 100% committed to paying my bills. Which for me, means that the normal 18-24 month wait for this adoption may stretch out an extra year while I work my rear off making extra money. Until some of my bills get paid I cannot, in good faith, take on a loan to pay for this adoption. I would rather work and save for an extra year so that when I'm home with baby I can do things like pay for daycare, and food....

So my painting/babysitting/tutoring/housesitting/etc will continue in full force. I am still having the garage sale (my guest room is filling with stuff, you guys are awesome). I am accepting prayers of all shapes and sizes (the more the merrier)!! And I will keep working, and saving, and paying off debt because I still know that my daughter is out there and that she'll come home when the time is right!

Garage Sale!

2009-09-27T16:05:00.000-07:00

One of the many ideas that I've gotten about raising money for the adoption is to have a garage sale. The only problem is that I had one last year and I just don't have that much stuff to sell. I do however have a yard to sell stuff in and, as you know, will do anything for money (well anything legal). So here's the deal. I know a LOT of you have lots of stuff that you'd like to get rid of/take to Goodwill/burn/whatever. How about instead of all that, you give it to me?

I'm going to be collecting stuff to sell in a garage sale over the next several weeks. If you are local, have stuff to get rid of, and are willing to donate it to my sale please let me know. I'll even come pick up anything that I can fit into my car. You know what they say...one man's trash is another woman's Bulgarian Adoption Fund!

Stuck in a moment you can't get out of

2009-09-23T17:15:00.000-07:00

No this post isn't a tribute to U2 (although I love them) it just seemed like an appropriate title for what transpired in my backyard earlier this evening.

As I was bringing in the trash can I noticed something strange out of the corner of my eye. At the bottom of the gate there was something that just wasn't right. Upon further inspection I found a turtle, a little turtle, a little cute turtle that had wedged itself between 2 parts of the fence. It was completly vertical and absolutly stuck. In fact, I thought it was dead at first and almost didn't bend down for a closer look (I've had dead turtles in the yard before...gross). I felt so bad thinking about the little guy that I had to look and, to my relief, the turtle moved. I tried to pull it out but it kept making a strange squeaking noise. Did you know turtles can squeak? Yeah, neither did I, I was afraid I was going to smash it (double gross). Well it took some work, and some garden tools (covered in gloves so I didn't pierce anything) but I did manage to make a lever and make enough space between the two pieces of wood to get the little guy out! I put him in the flower bed and he promptly burrowed himself under the mulch! I'm taking this as a win for turtle-kind.

This story is so much better with pictures, but alas, while I was able to snap some shots of the incident I can't upload them. My camera is experiencing an epic fail, the result of landing in the sand while on a trip to Lake Erie. But on the bright side a new camera seems like a great gift for the mom-to-be (hint hint)!

p.s. I can't find the spell check button on this new version of blogger....what's up with that? Also, I suck at spelling, sorry!

Questions and Answers

2009-09-20T17:25:00.000-07:00

Well, now that the initial shock of being accepted by the adoption agency (AGCI) has worn off, it's time to get down to the business of answering lots of questions. I've had a lot of the same questions over the past few days so I figured this was the best place to answer most of them!

Why Bulgaria, why now? I have been looking at adoption programs since last year. Every time I would get interested in a program something would happen and I'd decide that it wasn't the right one for me. Then this summer I got the latest edition of the Wittenberg Magazine and found this article on the last page. It was about a documentary that a fellow alumnus made about Bulgarian adoption. As they say, one thing led to another and I found myself looking at a slide show of children who had been adopted from Bulgaria...as I watched it became very clear to me that this was the program for me! And so it began.......

So why the heck didn't you tell me this in person you jerk! I started this process at the end of July and at that point I didn't know if I would even be a eligible to adopt from Bulgaria. In fact, after submitting my pre-application I was asked to submit further information about my medical history. Until I got that phone call last week I honestly didn't know if this would ever happen. Not telling people was hard! But, telling people and then having it fall through would have been even harder!!

So when are you coming home with a baby? Bulgaria only recently reopened to international adoption and their government, and the Minister of Justice in particular, have been doing a wonderful job of improving and stream-lining the process. All that being said, the current time line from application to coming home is 18-24 months. My agency is very quick to say that this is only an estimate, there is always a chance that it could take more or less time. I have plenty of time to get ready and figure out how to pay for it all.

Speaking of money, how are you going to pay for this? The short answer to that question is that I have NO idea! Seriously folks we're talking beg, borrow, and steal (well maybe not steal). I have several grants I can apply for once my home study is done, and am going through Financial Peace University to help me manage my money better! I am going to have to get a loan for part of it, and I'm just going to work my rear off. I've already let the word out that I'm back in the painting/house sitting/babysitting/whatever business. And, I'm going to be doing a lot of praying. While the money part of this is probably the scariest and most overwhelming, I am confident that it'll all work out!

I am sure there are lots more questions out there, and I'm happy to answer all of them. Thanks to everyone for all of their good wishes already. This is a crazy journey I'm embarking on and I'll take all the love and prayers I can get!!!

My Big HUGE Announcement!!

2009-09-17T16:48:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to figure out a way to start this post but can't seem to get the words out so I guess I'll just come out and say it.....I've started the process to adopt a little girl from Bulgaria!

What?

Yeah, that's right. I started looking at this program in July and had to get some information together about my RA and from my Doctor before I was even allowed to apply, then I had to wait for the agency to approve my application before I could officially start the paperwork. Well, the agency just called about 30 minutes ago! I can hardly believe it, you see the only thing I've ever known that I wanted to be when I grew up was a Mom. Sure I had dreams of being an author, Broadway star, and world traveller, but even in all of those I was still a mom. And right now just seems like the perfect time. I know there are about a million logical reasons why I shouldn't be doing this right now (mainly the state of my bank account), but overwhelming all of those reasons is the simple fact that I am absolutely certain that this is the best decision I've ever made in my entire life. Do I think it's going to be easy? No! Do I think it's going to be amazing? Without a doubt! Now I'm sure that I'll have LOTS to say about this in the coming days and weeks but right now I'm just to excited to type!

p.s. This is a long process, the estimated time from application to coming home with a child is 18-24 months.

p.p.s. Don't be mad if I didn't tell you in person. There are very few people who even knew I was thinking about doing this, let alone actually doing it!

Two Years

2009-08-20T18:41:00.001-07:00

Two years ago today I was at home much like today, but my sister and mom were in China. We were all getting ready for "Gottcha Day". The day that Ella would finally meet her mommy, and we would finally see updated pictures of Ella. Two years ago today, I woke up in the middle of the night ready to check my sister's blog for pictures of Ella but managed to convince myself to go back to sleep after realizing what time it was. (Imagine my surprise when I woke up in the morning and read Noelle's blog...turns out that at the exact same time that I woke up in Georgia, she was seeing Ella for the first time. Really if it weren't for our 3 year age difference I'd say it was a freaky twin thing). Two years ago today I got a phone call from my BFF on the way to work, screaming that the pictures were finally up! Two years ago today I sat with Beth and laughed and cried when we looked at the pictures for the first time together. Two years ago today I became an Aunt, and it remains my # 1 day ever.

Ella only a few months after coming home!

Ella, 1 year into the family

Ella, 2 years at home and fully in charge of....everyone!

Confession Part 2

2009-08-08T19:09:00.002-07:00

I am not a trendy person as my friends will be quick to tell you. I hate to shop. I often think that the "fashion" I see in the stores looks stupid and don't understand haute couture. However, there is one piece of fashion that I love, that I wish I could wear, that's makes me wish I lived in a different decade...

Hats

I love hats, and I'm not talking baseball here people. I'm talking about Hats with a Capital H. Hats that were part of ensembles. Hat's with feathers and bows. BIG hats that cover your entire head, and little hats that only cover a part of your hair. Sadly, I don't wear hats. Sadly, most people don't wear hats. Sadly, hats are not "in". But oh, how I wish they were. I wish I had a hat to go with every outfit. And hat boxes and hat pins for each one.

Perhaps if I had been born 50 years ago I could have had the hats of my dreams. Of course then it would also be 50 years ago and I would have things like the Internet or Deadliest Catch. Still, it would be nice to be able to buy and wear the hats that I long for. I suppose that until time travel becomes a reality, or hats come back into fashion, I'll have to just slap on a baseball hat and pretend it's adorned with bow and flowers and that people don't think I'm crazy for loving hats!

Aren't Pets Grand?

2009-08-08T19:09:00.001-07:00

I written before about how my cat would kill me if she could (and love every minute of it), but I'm not sure if I mentioned that she has split personalities or not. She's sort of a Jekyll and Hyde type of cat. Only I like to think of her as Cordy and Cordelia. As Cordy she's sweet and kind, she likes to snuggle (although only twice a day). Cordy let 2 toddlers pet her last weekend and likes to clean my dog's fur. Cordy is a house cat.

Cordelia on the other hand is the one who wants to kill me. She's a wild beast. She is also the one who, at the moment, is unnecessarily angry at me for changing her kitty litter to a new brand. Cordelia is the one who pooped in her bed and, most recently, decided to pee in my dog's food dish. Yeah, that's just want I love to come home to...dog food congealed in cat pee.

If you think that's gross, your right. And it's probably worse than you are imagining.

I am determined to not let Cordelia beat me. I've cleverly put a thin layer of her old litter over the new stuff in the litter box. Let's hope Cordy emerges soon and gives it a shot because I'm so over cleaning crap up all over the house, the litter box is gross enough!

Running

2009-07-19T13:34:00.000-07:00

I know that people run, I know that some people (for reasons that I can't fathom) even like to run. But what I really can't understand is why people insist on running on the road, when there is a perfectly safe bike path and sidewalks along the road to run on. I mean really, there's this one guy in particular who runs, and I'm using that term loosely, down major roads. Busy, major roads, with lots of traffic. And he doesn't run so much as do a spot on imitation of Burt (of Sesame Street fame) doing the . . . pigeon.

It doesn't seem safe, or smart. And really, if you run you probably do it for your health so I'd think you'd be concerned with getting hit by a car. I'm just saying...

It's the pits

2009-07-16T13:39:00.001-07:00

(WARNING: This is kind of gross, sorry)

One of the many glamorous things about having RA is that my immune system isn't quite up to snuff. You see having RA means that my immune system thinks that the fluid surrounding my joints is evil and attacks it causing swelling, pain, and super sexy claws where my hands should be. Clearly my immune system takes the short bus to work. Now, because it's my immune system that is the problem the medications I take suppress my immune system so it can't attack my joints. I'm all about the medication because it's one of the reasons why I am now able to do things like dress myself (I'm a big kid now), but having a immune system that doesn't fire at 100% means that infections are a real concern.

Keeping this in mind I became concerned when I noticed a large, red, warm lump under my arm (I'm to dignified to say armpit). A major infection could easily land me in the ER which I have tried to avoid since my senior year at Witt when I broke a finger by falling off my porch, sober. After several days I did what most people do, I told my mommy who made me call the doctor, who made me come in to the office. So I found myself on the exam table about to get Harold (as I like to call the lump) lanced. I admit I was pretty excited about this because, well I'm weird and I wanted to see what was going to come out of Harold. I was fully numbed before the scalpel came out so I didn't actually feel anything, but I could hear the scalpel and ahhh, like nails on a chalkboard. Not even the crap coming out of Harold could make up for that noise. Also, because Harold is the gift that keeps on giving, I've been having to apply and reapply bandages to the area ever since then. Do you know how much it hurts to remove medical tape from your armpit (guess I'm not that dignified after all)? Especially when there is an incision there? And it bruised from trying to squeeze Harold to death? It hurts. Yesterday I actually used this sentence in conversation "I couldn't get on the treadmill today because my armpit hurt". For real people do you know how often your armpit moves during the day? A LOT! But still as the saying goes "better out than in" and I'm frankly ready for Harold to move on, and take his crap with him (even if it is kind of cool, in a gross way).

I am not a Writer...

2009-07-07T17:08:00.000-07:00

I am a person who writes. If you don't understand the difference then you've never been an English Major, or a Writer, or a Person who Writes.

See here's the difference, I like to write and I write when I feel like it. I blog, or journal, or type things into files that will never see the light of day. I start stories, and more stories, and write scenes, and make plans that I never follow through on. Some months I'll write a lot, some months I won't write at all. I use entirely to many italics (and parentheses).

But a Writer, well a writer writes everyday. They write even when the words won't come, they write when they feel like it and when they don't. They put pen to paper just to put pen to paper. They are much, much more disciplined than I. They have the skill and ability to take words and thoughts and dreams and ideas and turn them into the stories that we read.

And here's my secret (shh) I've always wanted to be a Writer. To be able to take the scenes and stories that run rampant through my brain and put them on the page and make them as real as they are in my head. I want to be able to influence, and inspire, to make people laugh or cry based on my words. I want to be a writer, but I may have to settle on just being a person who writes.

Seriously funny reading recommendation

2009-07-06T12:49:00.000-07:00

As you know I read a LOT! I read books of all kinds; fiction, nonfiction, memoirs, biographies, classic literature, historical fiction, travel narratives, plays, short stories, young adult books, and chick lit. It would be impossible for me to pick out my favorite genre because I love them all. I think books are like music in that you need to have plenty around for all of your moods. There are certain books I can only read when I'm feeling serious, silly, sad, etc. Two of my very favorite books to read when I'm in the mood for a good laugh are "How I Paid for College: A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship, and Musical Theater" and "Attack of the Theater People" both my Marc Acito. If you haven't read these you absolutely must they could be the funniest things I've ever read. They are laugh-out-loud-pee-your-pants funny. I have the added bonus of having the main character remind me of someone I went to college with which makes it extra hilarious for me. These books are for anyone who has ever been in a play, watched a play, or tried out for a play. It's for all of us who know all the lyrics to all of the musicals. It's for people who never had the guts to be in a play, but still dream about how awesome it would be. It's for anyone who feels nostalgic for the 80's. It's for anyone who has ever had to worry about how to pay for (or pay back) their college tuition. Seriously, go read them, I guarantee you'll love them.

Wittenberg

2009-07-05T17:02:00.000-07:00

Last week I drove to Gray to visited the BFF and my drive takes me right through a college town that reminds me a lot of Wittenberg. There are kids wandering campus in their Greek gear, lounging in the grass studying and playing Frisbee. It makes me feel nostalgic, it makes me feel sad, it makes me want to break into song (as most things do). I make this drive a lot, and every time, every single time, I start to sing "I Wish I Could Go Back To College" from Avenue Q (don't judge me). But like the song says; "If I were to go back to college, think what a loser I'd be. I'd sit in the quad, and think oh my god, these kids are so much younger than me."

When exactly did that happen? When did I get old? When did I stop being able to stay up all night and still function the next day? When did a half of beer start being enough to make me tipsy? When did I become someone who worries about paying the mortgage? I could swear to you that Wittenberg seems a like a lifetime ago, and that it just happened.

But like with all things I do have some regrets about college, I know I should have studied more, I should have had more confidence in myself, I should have studied abroad, I should have had the guts to confess my crush on you know you who. Still, despite those regrets, college was fun. Really, really, really fun. And I have friends from college who I still talk to. And I recently discovered that even after 9 years you can reconnect and have fun with old college friends. I'd love to go back, but only to visit. I'm not sure I could make that daily trudge up the hill from the KD house to...well any building on campus. I'm fairly certain that I wouldn't be able to cart heavy books around the bookstore, and I know I couldn't drink as much. But it sure would be fun to wake up in the cold dorm on a snow day and spend the morning watching the Price is Right waiting for Joann to tell us that lunch was ready, and then spending the afternoon in the Commons reading and writing and "studying" and gossiping about what had happened the night before...

Domesticated Animals....are they really?

2009-06-25T07:55:00.000-07:00

I've never understood people who have wild animals as pets. I mean seriously people, a Tiger (snake, spider, elephant, monkey, whatever) is NOT a pet. I once saw this TV show about people who have monkey's instead of babies and we're not talking about just one family, but a lot of people. I tried to stop watching, but couldn't. They have highchairs and strollers and clothes and refer to the Monkey as their child. One man even got mad when someone laughed at the monkey and said something along the line of "that's my daughter" (dude, no its not. It's a MONKEY). This one lady had to send her monkey to an animal sanctuary after it tried to kill her and she still visited it and called it her son, also her mom talked about how she missed her grandson since he was now at the monkey sanctuary. Anyway, I had a point.....

Oh yeah, wild animals are not meant to be kept as pets. I'm not even convinced that domesticated animals are truly domesticated. Sure, my dog is personally afraid of her own farts and wouldn't ever turn on me but my cat? Oh she'd eat me in a second. She started life as this tiny adorable furball.

But even when she was tiny and (seemingly) innocent, I could see the wheels turning in that evil little brain of hers. See right now she's thinking "I could totally take that".

(Clearly my point about the dog being completely domesticated is proven). Okay, besides being a crazy lady who post pictures of her cat on her blog, I did have a point....

Yes, here's the thing. Sometimes when Cordelia looks at me I know she's thinking "If I weighed 200 lbs more, I'd eat you. And I'd like it". So if my cute, adorable (sometimes evil) "domesticated" cat is secretly hatching plans to kill me in my sleep, what's to stop a tiger from doing it? The answer is nothing, but still people are surprised when their wild animals turn on them. They go on the news and cry about how they never imagined that their beloved pet (ha) could turn on them. Hello? It's a wild animal, you don't see me bringing a gorilla into my house to dress up and feed with a bottle. So here's the thing, lets keep the wild animals in the wild where they belong. Also, if you have a cat like mine, watch your back!

Confession Part 1

2009-06-21T22:32:00.001-07:00

I stole this idea from Bridget, hope she doesn't mind!

Confession: I'm afraid to exercise

Yes, it's true, my treadmill frightens me. I bought my treadmill several years ago when the one I inherited from my parents needed to go to exercise equipment heaven. When I bought it, I loved it. I would get up early 3-4 times a week to walk before work (if you know me personally then this will have extra significance since you probably know how I feel about sleep)! I felt great, I loved how I felt after walking, I had more energy, I was actually alert on my drive to work. It was all in all, a good thing.

Then I got RA and the treadmill became my enemy. I couldn't even walk to the bathroom without being in pain so the idea of doing extra walking, on purpose, was laughable. I spent a lot of time (I'm talking more than a year) altering the way I did everything to try and keep pain to a minimum. I started walking with my hands in my pockets (less chance of hitting something on accident), I got all new (flat and boring) shoes, I started avoiding touching people (if a kid accidentally bumping into you in the hallway made you cry and vomit you'd avoid it too). All in all I did everything, everyday, to minimize or avoid pain, and I am not being dramatic when I say that it's all I thought about.

Then I started to get better (by the grace of God), but despite that I still continued living in my "avoid all possible pain" way which included ignoring the treadmill in my bedroom. But now I'm 20 months into this battle, 18 months post-diagnosis, and 6 months into feeling pretty much normal (well as normal as I ever was). It's time for things to change, to get over the fear that any physical activity will lead directly to intense pain, to take my doctors advice and get moving. While I'm still likely to walk with my hands in my pockets (I'm a klutz), and avoid handshakes (can I wear a sign that says "this isn't a pissing contest just a handshake, go easy"), it's time to conquer the treadmill.

p.s. sorry for the gratuitous use of parentheses (but I really like them).

Movie Mania

2009-06-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever come across a movie on TV and sat down to watch the entire thing even though you already own it? You sit through commercials, bad dubbing over inappropriate words, and editing to fit the time frame allowed. And (this is the best part) there are some movies that you do this with every, single time there on TV.

Come on, admit it. You know you've done it too.

Spare Room = Bare Room

2009-06-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

I bought my house over 2 and a half years ago, and in that time my Spare bedroom became a catch all room for well, everything. It had craft stuff, my nieces toys, a pile of stuff for good will, lots of puzzles and games, but no actual bed. It was blah, and boring, and I had no idea what to do with it. I've had some paint samples hanging on the walls in there for about the last 5 months but couldn't ever get the motivation to actually do anything with it. Well once summer started I began my annual "holy-crap-it's-summer-so-I-must-compulsively-clean-every-inch-of-my-house-from-floor-to-ceiling". Once I had cleared every bit of junk from the spare room so I could shampoo the carpets I decided that since the room was empty I might as well take advantage of it and paint. The problem was that I still had no idea what to do with it so I turned to Behr.com to help me. After a few afternoons of playing with colors I settled on Hallowed Hush and Solitude (which ironically had been hanging on my walls for months although I didn't discover that until after I'd bought the paint). Now the room has lots of color, although it is lacking things like furniture. That's okay because my next project is going to be refinishing a few pieces I already have for the room! I just love summer, there's so much time for projects!!!

Blah and boring!

Still blah, still boring

Hallowed Hush on top, those ceilings are high!

Top color done, now comes the tape...

And tape, and tape, and tape.....

1st coat of Solitude hits the walls!!

So fun!

Removing the tape was my favorite part

Now for furniture, and a bed.......

Toilet Trials

2009-06-05T17:57:00.000-07:00

To start off my summer vacation I decided to tackle the toilet in my guest bathroom. This toilet has been a pain in the rear since I moved into the house several years ago. My poor dad has been over many times to replace flappers, and fiddle around inside the tank trying to stop it from running constantly. After the last flapper install Dad declared that the whole system would have to be replaced. Well that was about 6 months ago and we've both been to busy to do anything about it. I was talking (i.e. complaining) about this to my BFF Bridget and she told me that she had replaced the innards of the toilet at her old house.
Well if SHE could do it, then darn it so could I. I promptly headed to Home Depot and bought a complete toilet repair kit that promised to be "easy to install". The box even declared "easy to install", the guy at Home Depot who I asked about it said "easy to install". HA, it was definitely NOT easy to install. Factor in my RA which means my hands have very little strength, and screws that are so corroded that they literally disintegrate when you touch them, this Easy to Install system ended up taking me 1 week, 1 visit from my mom, 1 call to our pastor, 1 visit from said pastor, and 1 new tool courtesy of said pastor. (Dad is currently in Israel, hence my calling our other pastor for help). But, after Mom and Pastor Alex helped me unscrew the tank from the bowl I was able to do the rest of the install myself, and I'm pretty darn pleased!!

Finally the tank comes off! All it took was 2
extra days, and 2 extra helpers.

As though the toilet wasn't enough of a project I

decided that this was the perfect time to remove

the wall paper from that area to make painting easier.

A tub full of old (gross) parts.

A floor covered with tools and wall paper debris

Now just look at that! A beautiful new system.

Sweet Success

The End

2009-05-27T17:02:00.000-07:00

School's out for summer! Teachers across Georgia are rejoicing, and parents are moaning. I have 10 beautiful weeks of freedom from kids (and their parents), and grades, and lesson plans, and IEPs, and correcting IEPs, and correcting IEPs again, and just fixing the IEPs myself because I'm tired of editing and having my teachers not actually fix anything....

Summer is awesome.

Don't be a hater, we teachers know you mock us only because you're jealous. Trust me when I say that 180 days of kids more than earns me my summer vacation. If you don't believe me then I invite you to come visit my classroom next year. I'll be there all year, dealing with kids, and their parents, and IEPs, and correcting IEPs, and correcting IEPs again, and just fixing the IEPs myself because I'm tired of editing and having my teachers not actually fix anything. I'll have girls crying because their best friend "like totally gave me a dirty look on the bus and my life is so over". I'll have boys masturbating in class (yep, every year...not cool). I'll have girls getting their period for the first time ever and freaking out about it. I'll have parents who don't give a rats ass about their kid and who I never actually meet although their phone number is on my speed dial. I'll have kids fail, and I have kids succeed. I'll have endless meetings and mountains of paperwork. I'll have papers to grade, and standardized tests to give and lots and LOTS of Diet Coke. Its a loud, crazy, hormonal, annoying, fun, nutty world and I bet you wouldn't last a day.

Did I mention that Summer is awesome?

It's a Safety Thing

2009-05-21T17:34:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I was part of a scene that is played out across schools all over the world. A kid misses the bus and doesn't know his address or phone number or who to call in case of emergency. Here's the catch....I teach middle school, this was a 6th grader.

I have know this kid for years, taught him as a 4th grader, and again this year. Over the years he has made very little progress in school. I recently had to explain to someone who works with him on a daily basis that, no sorry he's not going to "grow up", this is about where his maturity level stops. He can be very sweet and fun in the classroom, but can also be a huge pain in the rear. He is not the easiest child to work with, but also not the worst. But here's the thing, he doesn't even know his address or phone number, and I KNOW he's capable of learning, and memorizing them. I have kids in the MOID class that know their addresses for heavens sake. And what really kills me is that his parents know his ability level, they know that he needs lots and lots and lots of help with everything. And yet they don't bother to update their contact information when their address/phone numbers change. I've been telling him all year that he absolutely needs to learn his address. As a matter of personal safety he needs to know where he lives. I stood in the office getting more and more annoyed that I couldn't find someone to get this kid and I had to keep reminding myself that it wasn't his fault. Because it really isn't his fault that he doesn't know these things, but it is his parents fault. If you have a child with a disability you need to be more involved, not less. And it kills me that they aren't. That he had to watch me call number after number after number trying to find someone who gave crap about the fact that he wasn't home yet. It kills me that I had to call the school social worker to come and get him, and that I had to make him describe his house to me before I let him go because I wanted to be sure that he would recognize it when he saw it. And it kills me that I was getting more and more annoyed with him while it was happening, Yes, it was well past time for me to leave work. Yes it was the 2nd to last day of school. Yes I am tired, but that is no excuse. I don't want to be that teacher, or that person. Mostly I think I was mad that I seemed more concerned about this kid than his parents and that is the most messed up part of this whole thing.

Help?

2009-05-13T16:12:00.000-07:00

I am an independent person, a very independent person. In fact stubborn would be a nice way of putting it! The point is that I have a hard time asking for, or accepting help from people. Despite my earlier rant about having to complete "man chores" I would actually prefer to do it myself than to have to ask for help. And as for actually needing help, well I'm sure not going to admit that! Even at the start of my RA, when I could hardly get dressed by myself, I hated having to ask for help, and rarely did. I was in horrible, horrible, horrible pain, and I still would rather do things myself than ask for help.

For the record, I'm kind of an idiot.

RA taught me many things, including the fact that sometimes you just have to ask for help. I still don't do it well, but I do ask when necessary (even if I have to give myself a pep talk first). So this week has been a lesson in asking for help, and I'm pretty darn proud of myself! My rheumatologist agreed to let me try and lower the dose of one of my meds, as a result I've been feeling a bit off. When I went to the grocery store and bought lots of heavy items, the idea of loading them into my car was a bit much so when the bag boy offered to take them to the car for me I accepted, for the first time ever! Today at Lowes when I had to buy mulch I decided not to repeat last years performance (it ended with tears and no mulch), instead I went right in and asked someone for help.

Either I'm growing as a person, or I'm becoming more Southern....either way, it's a good thing!

Half a loaf

2009-05-11T17:34:00.000-07:00

I'm single and I'm totally cool with that, but there are a few times when I find it would just be more convenient to be in a relationship.

Example 1:
I'm at the grocery store and I need to buy bread for sandwiches. Now, when I'm in the mood for sandwiches I usually eat them for 2-3 days in a row and then I'm cashed out for a good month. But there is way more than 2-3 sandwiches worth of bread in a loaf. Why can't you buy a half loaf of bread? Really, I know I could freeze it but it just doesn't taste the same when you thaw it (despite what Bridget may say).

Example 2:
While I begrudgingly mow my lawn and take out the trash I can't help but think that this is a man job. Yeah, I know that basically makes me a bad woman but whatever. Before you sic the scary feminists after me let me just say that I'm all for women's rights. And as a woman it's my right to not have to do certain things. Just stick me on a time-machine and send me back to 1950. Hasn't anyone come up with a business plan for situations like this? There should be a number I can call to get someone to come do the "Man chores" around the house (lawn, trash, anything to do with the car).

Huh, on second thought maybe I don't need a relationship. I just need more money so I can get a lawn service and a maid....

Phone Obsessed

2009-05-07T14:24:00.001-07:00

Does anyone remember the old SNL sketch where three guys were in some super "modern" store and they were making fun of technology? They are comparing/talking about cellphones and one guy pulls out his cell phone (maybe Will Ferrell), and it's smaller than his thumbnail and he can barely hold onto it because it's so small?

No?

Okay, maybe it's just me but I thought of that sketch yesterday when I got Internet connected to my phone. Now I'll admit to being a bit phone obsessed (I know I'm not the only one), but I always swore that I wouldn't get Internet on my phone. Who needs it? I have a computer, plus fancy new high-speed Internet, clearly I have no need for the Internet on my phone. I was very adamant about this, self-righteous even....oh how the mighty do fall.

Of course I remember making the same oaths against texting, and phones with keyboards, and facebook, and blogging, but clearly those didn't work out :) So yesterday I get the Internet hooked up to my phone and I found myself sitting on the couch, looking up facebook on my phone. On my tiny 1x2 in square phone screen. The best part? My computer was sitting next to me, open, connected to the Internet, and logged on to facebook.

I at least had the presence of mind to laugh at myself! And to consider the fact that if someone wanted to become a hermit in this day and age it would be way more fun with all the technology we have now. Yeah, don't ask my mind works in mysterious ways...

Don't be Dumb

2009-05-06T17:24:00.000-07:00

Here's the thing, I really think that things would go much better in life if people would follow this one simple rule....Don't Be Dumb. I heard an advertisement for a news segment tonight about how to avoid "cyber thieves". Apparently these "cyber thieves" find out about you on facebook, and then call your friends/family/strangers begging for money. People are falling for it. Well you know what people? Don't Be Dumb! It's like those Internet or mail scams that get people to send checks to some 3rd world country, but then promise to triple your money in a week. Really? How about this....Don't Be Dumb!

If someone calls me begging for money chances are they're not getting it. And if they're claiming to be a friend/family I'm so totally going to test them to see if it's really them, and then I'm still not going to send them cash (sorry folks). Plus, I'm pretty sure that if someone were to call claiming to be B, then I'd realize it wasn't her by the sound of her voice. If not I'll ask the ultimate question that only B would be able to answer "tell me about the greatest nap ever". Ditto for my sister, "what's the name of that girl who got your hermit crab" or any family member, "what kind of plastic surgery did I have"?

But before I did all that, before I gave the third degree to someone on the phone, before I let some stranger go on and on and on about how they need money, before all that I'm going to remember this.

Don't...Be...Dumb (and then I'll probably hang up and laugh because I'm smarmy like that).

Yummy (and gross)

2009-05-05T15:38:00.000-07:00

I know that I'm officially a "grown-up" and that my taste if food should be more sophisticated than, say, my two year old niece but I'm afraid it isn't. You see I have a dirty little secret and it's name is Kraft. Mac and Cheese to be more specific, but it's the Kraft part that's important. Imitation powdered cheese just isn't the name, neither is that Velveeta crap (I'm sorry but I'm not buying a cheese that isn't found in the cheese section). The only problem is that I hate, I really hate, the sound it makes.

I know what you're thinking.... Mac and Cheese doesn't make a sound.

But it does, and it's horrible. It sounds just like the word moist. And I really hate the word moist (even more than the sound of mac and cheese). It's just gross, and dirty, and, well moist. It's almost enough to prevent me from making it, almost. Perhaps earplugs would help.

Ode to Sam's Club

2009-05-04T16:40:00.000-07:00

I have discovered the joy's of discount warehouse shopping. In a never ending quest to be more money conscious I joined Sam's Club. What a wonderfully, magical place. They have everything, only MORE of everything. Do you need 84 rolls of toilet paper? They've got it. Were you in the market for 3 dozen pairs of white athletic socks? They've got it. I do admit that I don't always understand their bulk offerings...mayonnaise by the gallon? Really? Unless you're a Duggar, or a member of the fictitious Eriksen family and need to make a traditional holiday 7 layer mayonnaise salad, I can't see the need. Plus it makes me want to throw up a little.

On the other hand I'm not sure that I really needed those 36 individual cups of applesauce, but that didn't stop me from buying them! I will take credit for showing incredible self-control while wandering past the school supply aisle (3 times). Oh, the school supply aisle! I could devote an entire blog to my love of school supplies. While buying 2 pounds of beef jerky is something that I hope to never do; the sight of 24 multi-colored fine-tipped roller ball pens left me weak in the knees. To say nothing of the sharpie markers, and post-its, and paper, and more pens. I can't believe I made it out of there without a single item from that aisle. I only made it out by thinking about the start of next school year, when I can buy school supplies to my hearts content...............

The Beach

2009-05-03T13:23:00.000-07:00

I'm not necessarily a "beach person" Don't get me wrong I like the beach, but often visiting the beach is a whirlwind of packing beach bags, unpacking beach bags, applying and reapplying sunscreen, searching fora spot on the beach amongst 10,000 tourists doing the same thing, and digging sand out of places that sand should never be. When I was little my family visited Myrtle Beach every summer to see my grandparents, and to enjoy weather that Michigan rarely afforded. It was fun. It was really fun...for me. I imagine it wasn't so much fun for my parents. Now that I'm a "grown-up" I like my vacations, in general, to be a bit more relaxing. Let's be honest and admit that I'd be perfectly happy sitting in a comfortable chair with a glass of wine and a good book. It wouldn't matter to me if I was in the tropics or Toledo (well, okay maybe the tropics would be better). The point is that I don't need to visit a beach that is high-maintenance. I need one that is more laid back and relaxed.

This weekend my sister, niece, and I made a trip to Hilton Head to visit friends who were there for Spring Break. I've been to Hilton Head many times and each time I realized more and more that this is my kind of beach. It's nice and relaxed (at least in April), the beach isn't to crowded (at least in April), and the food is great (even if you don't like seafood). We had a fantastic time, and it ended way to soon. Ella actually cried when we left, and I couldn't blame her!!

Ella's not a fan of the sand...but loves the ocean

Ella loves the towel that GiGi got her at Disney World

The Testing Blues

2009-04-27T15:02:00.000-07:00

This past week at school we've been taking the CRCT or as I like to think of it the Completely-Ridiculous-Crap-Test. The CRCT is what the government of Georgia has decided kids in grades 1-8 have to take to prove that they are ready for the next grade. Of course we have to give it before the year is over so, of course, we have to cram 10 months worth of material into 8 1/2 months. I HATE this test!!!! It doesn't make sense that we judge an entire years worth of learning on one stupid day. What if you're having a bad day? What if your dog died? What if you couldn't sleep because you were in charge of your siblings and one of them was cranky? What if your best friend looked at you funny on the bus on the was home yesterday? What if the idea that one test is going to determine if you can go to the next grade freaks you out so much that you forget everything?

The really great part about this test, and others like it, is that if the students do really well on it...they make it harder! And all of those sped kids who we have to individualize education for? Well tough shit kid. You have to take, and pass, the same test. It doesn't matter that you can't add, or that you read on a 1st grade level, or that we give you an individualized education plan so that you can be successful at school, at the end of the day you still have to pass the same test as everyone else. So lets forget about the fact that over the course of the year Johnny has increased his reading level from 2nd to 5th grade. Let's forget that Sally now knows how to borrow in subtraction. I'd love to be able to say "nice job" and "way to go", but instead I have to say...."hells bells kids you suck."

ARG!!!

How about the people are in charge of these things come and visit my classroom for a day. I'm willing to bet it would open their eyes to a whole different world :)

Technology is FUN

2009-04-18T14:59:00.000-07:00

Those who know me know that I've been without cable for about a year and a half. I made the cut in an effort to save money, although my credit card would beg to differ! I also have dial-up Internet, again for money reasons. I couldn't quite make the cut to no Internet like my sister did, I'm a bit to addicted for that. The point is that I've thought for the past 18 months that I've been saving money........

Turns out I was wrong. I discovered that by getting a package deal, and cancelling AOL I'm actually saving money while getting to enjoy high-speed Internet for the first time in my house. Plus I can get cable back!! Please don't think me to pathetic that this fills me with joy. I've had the Discovery Channel on all day and I'm not tired of it yet! Who knew that I could enjoy faster Internet, the Discovery Channel, and pay LESS each month? Clearly I didn't know that or I would have done this a long time ago.

Welcome back Cable, welcome back.

Where Am I?

2009-04-07T16:15:00.000-07:00

You know how Video Killed the Radio Star? Well it seems that GPS has killed my inner compass. This past weekend I drove to Orlando and, since my niece was in the car, my dad had us take his GPS. Now, I had kind of a hard time letting go of my mapquest directions which were printed out and sitting in my glove compartment, but I decided to try out Tina Turner. (On a side note, the GPS is named Tina Turner, you know because she tells you where to turn...) Anyway, Tina was pretty fun to have in the car. I especially liked being able to watch the map on screen and see how long it would take us to get there. Although I promise that I still watched the road and was a very responsible driver! Tina and I did have our differences, like whenever we entered a construction zone, but overall it really liked having someone telling me when and where to turn.
However, when we got to Sea World I discovered the trouble with Tina Turner. Despite my notoriously bad memory, and my inability to remember much of anything before 1989, I have a fairly great sense of direction. If I visit a place (think theme park, mall, zoo) I can usually look at the map briefly and then be able to navigate my way around. This is possibly the only area where my memory is excellent (although I can remember a ridiculous number of lyrics from musicals). I entered Sea World confident in my ability to navigate the park. I had visited it before, and knew generally where everything was. But it seemed like no matter where I tried to go I got lost. Looking for the Whale and Dolphin Theater? I ended up at the Artic. Looking for Dolphin Cove..oops those are the Clydesdale's. Need a bathroom, well there's a gift shop.
I figured it was a fluke, but the next day when we went back to Sea World the same thing happened. My internal compass was perpetually set to "Middle of damn nowhere" and I usually got there by pushing directly against the crowds of people who knew what they were doing. I spend 1 day relaying on the GPS to get me somewhere and suddenly I can't even find the exit (and there were signs)! I'm going to the zoo on Thursday and I really hope my internal compass has turned back on.

Pollen War

2009-03-26T16:19:00.000-07:00

Growing up in Michigan I knew what pollen was. We learned about it in Science class through the use of some really awesome film-strips. Pollen was the stuff that bees pick up as they fly from flower to flower. Pollen was the stuff that game some people the sniffles. Pollen was, above all else, invisible.

Then I moved to Georgia. Pollen, in Georgia, isn't hidden in pretty flowers. Pollen in Georgia descends upon the state in waves. It attacks like an invading army, leaving a trail of Kleenex and watery eyes in its wake. It falls from the trees in a thick shower of yellow powder that covers every available surface (inside and out) of the entire state. No one, and no place, is safe from pollen. And when it rains.... Oh you'd imagine that the rain would be great as it knocks the pollen out of the air, but you'd be wrong. When it rains the pollen puddles, and collects, and creates an oil slick on the road. It's gross. It gives everyone allergies. It means I can't use my porch until it ends. It means I have to add one more pill to my medicine cabinet. It sucks.

Right now I'm in a war against pollen...and the pollen is winning.

This awesome picture is of the pollen that I washed off my back porch

A Dead Poet Moment

2009-03-19T16:17:00.001-07:00

I take my dog for a walk (almost) everyday, baring an RA flare or rain. Since I'm a creature of habit, as is the dog, we always turn right out of the driveway and make a circle through the woods. Well today I saw a strange dog at the end of the cud-de-sac so I decided to turn left instead. We walked through the same woods that we go though everyday but I honestly had a moment of complete confusion as to where to go once I got into the woods. It was like I was in a whole new place despite having walked that same path everyday for two years. It made me wonder if maybe we need to look at things from a new angle more often...

p.s. Bonus points if you understand the Dead Poet reference!

Teacher Tales

2009-03-14T13:52:00.000-07:00

Every teacher has a special cache of stories that they pull out at parties (you know you do). Kids say and do some crazy things and honestly some of them are to good not to share. I was reminded of a classic story yesterday at at meeting when someone mentioned this student's name. Of course I'm not going to reveal any names, or even gender, but honestly how could this not make you love kids......

In my very first year of teaching I had a student who was a particular project of mine. I really wanted X to feel confident in their ability, and to learn to love school as much as I did (remember this was my first year, I was a bit delusional). X has a severe learning disability and was functioning far below the rest of the class, but still we slogged through it. Then one fateful day our entire team took a field trip to the local history museum. The docent who was working my group that day was a tiny old women who looked like she didn't know quite what to think about my students but she bravely carried on taking us through the history of the state. Periodically she would stop and ask the students questions and every time this ran through my head "please don't call on X please don't call on X". Before you think I'm a horrible person you must understand that this student would often answer volunteer to answer questions in class, and was called on frequently, but X's answers very, very rarely related to the question I had asked. "Why no dear, purple is indeed not a factor of 42, but good try."

Anyway back to the museum and the section on farming.

Docent: "Can anyone name one of the state's Cash Crops?"
Johnny: "Tobacco"
Docent: "Excellent, anyone else?"
Alice: "Cotton"
Docent 3: "Yes, great....how about you dear, in the back row, did you have an answer?"
Me (in my head): "Oh dear lord"
Student X: Celery

Yep, celery. I will give X points for understanding that a Crop has to do with something you plant. And bonus points to the docent who, after a moment of stunned silence, recovered well.

It was a great day at the museum, and I'm still laughing about it years later.

The Real Story

2009-03-04T15:51:00.000-08:00

I get asked about my RA a lot so I thought to write about it and answer lots of questions at once!

I went to a Halloween party on a Saturday night in '07 dressed as a girl scout (it was awesome). The costume itself isn't significant, but the party is because I was driving that night so I stuck with one glass of wine and lots of water. The point being that I wasn't drunk and, despite my perpetual clumsiness, I didn't fall down. Still the next day my right ankle hurt and I was limping. By Monday my limp had turned into a full-fledged pain and I had a disturbingly large lump on the back of my ankle. My sister insisted that I call the doctor to see what was up, which I did a bit begrudgingly since I don't generally like visiting the doctor. My doctor agreed to see me the next day and when she saw my ankle she was stumped. There had been no apparent trauma to my leg or explanation for the giant lump. After some head scratching and a few looks in the medical textbooks she decided that my best bet was a visit to an orthopedic surgeon. An appointment was made for a week later and I headed home with a still swollen ankle, a more pronounced limp, and a little bit of anxiety over just what the heck was wrong.

I woke up on Wednesday to discover that not only was my ankle still sore, but now other parts of my body were following suit. By Friday my hands, wrists, back, feet, knees, and even jaw were also inflamed. Things didn't improve when I got a call from my mom telling me that her bosses wanted me to come in for some blood tests. My mom is a nurse at an Oncology practice, and although she told me not to worry...I did. Blood tests were run and it was decided that what I really needed was a Rheumatologist. A call was placed and I was given an appointment to see an amazing rheumatologist. The catch was that the appointment wasn't until January 18, 2009.

Now for those of you keeping track my symptoms started the day after a Halloween party. Within a week of that, nearly every joint in my body was inflamed and painful. My doctor's appointment wasn't until January 18! That left me with 2 and a half months to try and deal with my symptoms on my own. True, my regular doctor gave me a prescription anti-inflammatory as well as a dose of steroids, but overall there wasn't much to be done. Those months were not my best, and I'm sure I wasn't fun to be around. I slept very little because of the pain, and ate even less because my jaw was to sore to chew. When the day finally came for me to meet the rheumatologist I was happier than I had been in months! After a LOT of blood work, and another week of waiting for results it was confirmed that I had Rheumatoid Arthritis.

48 days later I turned 30....awesome

Yes I AM a "real" teacher, thanks for asking...

2009-02-24T15:44:00.000-08:00

Here's a particular pet peeve of mine, people who think that because I'm a Special Ed teacher I'm not really a teacher. Do you know how condescending that is? Ask any special ed teacher you know and I guarantee that they've heard the same thing. I wonder who exactly people consider "real" teachers? Having taught both regular, and special ed I've seen both sides of the story. When I was a regular ed teacher I had lessons to plan, discipline to keep, parents to conference with, data to gather, standards to meet, and students to teach. As a special education teacher I have to do all of those things plus write IEPs, modify lessons and materials, hold IEP meetings, help regular ed teachers make accommodations and modifications, oh yeah and try and TEACH a kid with a disability. Sure I may have less kids in my class, but that certainly doesn't equal less work!

Here's the big difference...my kids have a disability (have I mentioned that already?). I have students who are reading on a 2nd grade reading level. I have students who can't add (even with a calculator). I am expected to teach these kids how to cope with their disabilities, how to read, to write, to do math, how to function in the classroom. Oh yeah, and I'm supposed to teach them the same exact standards that everyone else teaches. Plus (and here's the real kicker), at the end of the year my kids have to pass the same standardized test as every other kid.

So, people of the world, I'm not sure what you consider a "real" teacher...but let me assure you that anyone with the word teacher as a job title is, indeed, a REAL teacher.

The Good Old Days

2009-02-23T16:32:00.000-08:00

I teach 6th grade most of my students fall into the correct age range, although I do have several 13 year olds. Regardless, they are middle school aged and I really wish they would act like it. It really bothers me when I hear my kids talking about a movie, and I realize it's some Rated R horror movie that they have no business seeing, or an inappropriate TV show that's on late. Now, when I was growing up my parents closely monitored my TV watching. My sister and I weren't even allowed to watch TV shows where the kids were disrespectful to their parents. I couldn't understand why I wasn't allowed to watch Growing Pains, but seeing it now I totally understand. Instead, I watched a lot of Cosby Show, Punky Brewster, and Little House on the Prairie. Those were great shows with good values. They were funny and entertaining and just plain good. What happened to shows like that? Does everything on TV have to have an 'edge'? Aren't there any good wholesome shows on TV?

Now don't get me wrong, I like TV (probably to much). And I like a good action show as much as the next girl, but sometimes I just want to watch a show that's....well, nice. A show that I wouldn't be embarrassed to watch with my niece, or someones grandma. Until then, I'll just stick with my DVDs and reruns of M*A*S*H (which would be wholesome if you took out the violence, sex, and drinking)!

Good Friends, Great Soup!

2009-02-22T11:25:00.001-08:00

This past Friday my sister, niece, and I made our monthly pilgrimage to Gray, Georgia to visit our best friend. Getting to spend time with the Ivey League is always fun, and we only wish they lived closer so we could visit more often. This weekend we decided to cut the drive short by a bit and meet in Milledgeville for dinner at Buffington's. I'm honestly not sure what I was more excited about this weekend, seeing B and the family, or getting to eat the soup at Buffington's. I've been thinking about eating here ever since the first time we visited several months ago. On that trip I got a cup of soup to start off the meal, but only got to eat about a spoonful before my niece took over! If you've ever met Ella then you are well aware of her love of soup, trust me when I say that it's better to get out of the way if you find yourself between her and a bowl of soup. Well this time, I was smart and got a bowl of my own. It was well worth the wait! Imagine if you will the greatest potato soup you've ever had. Then imagine it's even better....that's what this soup tastes like! If you're ever in Milledgeville and are looking for the worlds greatest soup...then you must go to Buffington's! (This is so not a paid advertisement, but a public service announcement since i think I would be doing the world a disservice not to tell them about this soup!)

Comment Issue

2009-02-21T17:57:00.000-08:00

I've heard from several sources that there have been some issues with commenting. I think that i've fixed the problem, so feel free to leave comments (hopefully they'll go through).

Adventures in Dog Walking

2009-02-16T16:28:00.000-08:00

I am the proud owner of a miniature schnauzer named Inga VonUnderthebed. I got her from a rescue place when she was 6 and she's been the best dog ever for almost three years. Now, I don't claim that she's the most well behaved dog (she'd never been on a leash before I got her), or the smartest (she's afraid of her own farts), but she does love to cuddle. As an added bonus it turns out she is absolutely fantastic with my niece Ella. I'll admit that I had my doubts about her before Ella arrived, but Inga loves, loves, loves Ella and basically lets her do whatever she wants.

When Inga first came home she clearly hadn't been socialized with other dogs. Cats she loves, but dogs she could do without. She barks at every dog we see except, oddly enough, one large stray dog that likes to follow us on our walks. She also hates car rides, well to get technical she hates going away in a car, the trip home she's always totally cool for. She gets daily walks around the neighborhood but i don't really take her out and about with me. We have made one trip to the library park and she did great so today we decided to take her down to the Augusta Canal. The canal is a great place to walk, and they have a playground that Ella loves. As an added bonus the city of August has drained part of the canal to do some work on it and I basically wanted to see the big muddy hole in the ground. So, with my pockets full of bags to pick up poo off we headed for an afternoon to enjoy nature.

I was a little nervous when we started because I wasn't sure how Inga would react, but when we started off she was great. We passed lots of people on our way to the walking path and Inga was to busy smelling all of the great smells to even notice them. We crossed the bridge to the actual walkway and that's where the trouble began! There was a 20ish young girl with her dog on the path. Well when that dog saw Inga she literally dragged the girl over to Inga, and she was NOT friendly. I suddenly found myself in the middle of a dog fight (although it was pretty one-sided since Inga was just trying to get away). Luckily Inga wears a harness and I literally picked her up by the leash (while spinning in circles) trying to get this dog off of her! I was freaked out! I managed to get Inga up into my arms before the dog could bite her, the dogs owner was apologizing a mile an minute, and Inga was fine. Of course poor Ella was crying "black dog hurt Inga" but she also recovered. Unfortunately the same can't be said for my left hand which is currently swelling up.

Once I stopped shaking, and Ella stopped crying we continued our walk and saw many, many other dogs and dog owners who were all perfectly well-behaved. But seriously folks, if you're going to take your dog out in public you need to be able to control it!!!! I'm thankful that no one was hurt, but it could have gone a lot worse. Needless to say we're going back to the library park next time....it's a LOT less crowded.

A Thousand Splendid Suns

2009-02-13T17:57:00.000-08:00

Last night I finished reading A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. I realize I'm a bit behind the times on this one since it came out in 2007, but in my defense I have had it sitting on my bookshelf since then. The thing is that when I read books I have to be in the right mood for the right book. I think that's why I buy so many books, because I never know what I'll be in the mood for. Anyway I guess I was in the mood for a more serious read after finishing a couple of fun travel books so I picked this one up on Monday. Last night I was finished.

This book was absolutely incredible. The Afghanistan that Hosseini writes about is one that I never even knew existed. Up until pretty recently the only Afghanistan I knew was the one on CNN. That Afghanistan is one filled with Taliban, and women covered in burqas. That Afghanistan is a strange and backward country, one that had no connection with my own. In this book Hosseini writes of a different Afghanistan. One with a proud and complex history. A country that has been torn apart by war and drought, but is also filled with poets and writers and people. A people that I'm ashamed to admit I never gave much thought to before. While this book is fiction, it still portrays a very real Afghanistan. This book was by no means easy to read. The content is rough, gritty and honest. The story pulls you in and spins you around for 372 pages before throwing out back out into reality. It is a book about love, faith, hope, and sacrifice. It is a story about powerful relationships, and about the power of relationships. Above all it is an incredible book that I would highly recommend to everyone!

This book has clearly cemented Khaled Hosseini as one of my favorite authors and has assured that I will buy and read anything that he writes in the future.

All things Vera

2009-02-10T17:49:00.000-08:00

I am not a girly-girl and never have been. Despite the fact that my bedroom is currently pink, I've never been that into girl stuff. I don't own a million pairs of shoes, my make-up collection is very basic, and I generally hate to shop. I'm pretty sure the mall was invented by an evil genius, as was the concept of "window shopping". However, there are two things in life that I'm willing to shop for anytime, anyplace. Those things would be Vera Bradley purses, and Office Supplies. The Vera is to feed my inner girl, and the Office Supplies are to feed my inner OCD (well okay the OCD isn't really internal). Now imagine how excited I was when Vera started a line of office supplies. I imagine it's probably what Mr. Reeses felt like when he first put peanut butter together with chocolate!
I usually have to rely on my friend Kim and her excellent gift giving skills for my Vera Office Supplies since I'm to frugal...ummm cheap to buy them for myself. But today I learned the most wonderful thing. You can find some Vera at TJ Maxx! And it's on sale! I guess you really do "get the max for the minimum, minimum price". I'm telling you it was like discovering delicious fat-free cupcakes that taste like delicious fat-full cupcakes. I was able to fulfill all of my Vera Office Supply needs for 1/2 price. There was one office supply item that I couldn't find at the Max. The all new Vera Bradley Clipboard. I had to go to 3 different stores and pay full price for this beauty, but it was so worth it.
I'm telling you it was like Christmas and my Birthday all wrapped up into one glorious day!

Can gardening really be fun?

2009-02-08T16:38:00.000-08:00

When I was younger there was one chore that I hated above all others....yard work. I absolutely despised having to work in the yard. It wasn't the mowing that bothered me because quite frankly a lawn mower is just a big loud power tool and who doesn't love power tools! No it wasn't the mowing, it was the raking! Why oh why did we have to rake? And it wasn't a little bit of raking, we had a BIG yard which equalled a LOT of grass to rake. I couldn't understand the point of raking and, in fact, I refuse to rake my own yard now (instead I set the mower to mulch and just deal with it). Now before you start to think that I was a poor, overworked child, let me assure you that I wasn't. I had my usual set of chores to do and parent's who were fun and never unreasonable. Plus my dad decided one year that instead of a raise he would have someone come and do our yard for us so the raking stopped before I hit my teens. Still the hatred of raking stayed with me and spilled over to include all sorts of yard work including any kind of gardening. I was utterly confused by anyone (my mom included) who seemed to actually like spending time in the yard. I didn't see the appeal of backbreaking work all for a few flowers that would die anyway.

And then I bought a house.

One of the deal-breakers in my search for a house was that I had to have a fenced in backyard for my dog. I found myself looking at homes with BIG yards and small yards and settled on my "House of Dreams" which had the perfect sized yard for me and my Schnauzer. Knowing that I was going to buy a house with a yard I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to do some yard work. I knew it came with the territory, and since I already had my "no raking" policy in place I was okay with it. The House of Dreams in all of it's sad neglected glory had two flower beds in the front yard that were horribly overgrown. Almost immediately after moving in I decided that all of the shrubbery had to go and I set about doing a total demolition to the front yard. Imagine my surprise when I found that I LIKED it! I liked pulling out all of the old stuff and picking out just the right flowers and shrubs. I liked weeding the beds, and mowing the yard. I found myself feeling closer to my mom since we now had something in common (that she didn't share with my sister)! Gardening was fun, I was one of those people who enjoyed wandering the flower section of the home improvement store. And even though my "no raking" policy remained firmly in place, I found myself thoroughly enjoying all of the time I spent in my flowerbeds.

Then came the RA and my new found love of gardening, turned into yet another activity that I was entirely incapable of doing because of my joints. All of the plans I had made for my backyard fell by the wayside and I gave up the idea of being able to landscape the way I wanted to. However, I was happily able to start working outside again this week after many, many, many months of inactivity, and a lot of medication. Now with Spring just around the corner I am once again looking forward to playing in the dirt. While it's true that I have to work a lot slower than I would in the past, I'm thankful that I can at least keep working!

Losing my Doodle

2009-02-05T17:19:00.000-08:00

Hello, my name is Jess and I doodle. It's true. I can't hide it any longer. I doodle when I'm in meetings. I doodle when I'm on the phone. I even doodle when I'm teaching. I have been doodling for as long as I remember. My drawing skills are pretty slim (I'm afraid my little brother got that talent), but my doodling skills are stellar. My personal preference is geometric shapes on account of my obsessive compulsive tendencies. I can also doodle a pretty spectacular flower. Sadly however, I fear that my doodling days are nearing an end. One of the more annoying side effects of my RA is the fact that my hands hurts pretty often. I can't write in a journal anymore and it's hard to take notes for longer than 15 minutes or so. All this means that my notes look cleaner, I appear to be paying more attention, but I sure do miss doodling!

Know-It-All

2009-02-02T18:36:00.000-08:00

I recently finished reading the book The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World by A. J. Jacobs. The book follows Jacob's quest to read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica from A to Z and is actually much more entertaining and funny than you might think. I started reading the book because I was fascinated by the idea behind it. I love to read, and learn, and go to school, and felt that deep down inside, Jacobs was a kindred spirit. Far from being a regurgitation of boring facts, the book weaves the narrative of a man trying to understand his relationship with his own father, while facing the possibility of becoming a father himself, into one year of nonstop encyclopedia reading. The book was both funny, heart-warming, and full of fascinating fun facts just waiting to be pulled out at your next party!

Here's a just a small sample of the things I learned from this book:

1. First of all we had a President named Millard Fillmore did you know that? He was apparently our 13th president. I thought I knew my history pretty well, but clearly I'm lacking in the area of previous Presidents.

2. We also had a President named William Henry Harrison (number 9) although I don't feel so bad about not know about him since he died one month into office.

3. Lacoste is not just the name of a clothing like with a cute alligator mascot. Rene Lacoste was a famous tennis player who earned the nickname "The crocodile". So technically speaking the Lacoste shirts all should have crocodiles on them, not alligators.

4. Myrrh is a substance that is used as incense, and to relieve sore gums. If you think about it myrrh is the only suitable gift that the wise men brought Jesus...what baby doesn't get sore gums?

5. Typewriters originally had two entire sets of letters, one uppercase and one lower case. The invention of the shift button changed typing as we know it!

Chinese New Year

2009-02-02T15:38:00.000-08:00

This past Friday I went to a party to celebrate Chinese New Year (a week late). Since my niece is from China we like to celebrate Chinese holiday's with her. It's important to my sister that she knows about her culture and history and this is one way to do it. We are lucky enough to know a group of families in the area who also have children adopted from China (and one very adorable boy from Guatemala). The group meets weekly to hang out, and we go as often as the school calendar permits. Luckily this celebration was at night so everyone could attend. All of the kids had a great time eating delicious Chinese food, and making paper lanterns. It's great to see Ella get to interact with other children from China since they share such a great bond. I'm sure that in the future they will be a great support system for each other!

Enjoy the picture and if you're wondering Ella is the one in the middle who looks miserable (the girl does NOT like photo sessions)!

8 things about me....

2009-01-29T18:48:00.001-08:00

I was tagged by my BFF over at The Ivey League to post 8 things all about me. Although the rules say that I'm supposed to do this and then tag other people to force them into revealing things about themselves, I'm going to just do it for fun! Since I'm sure you're all just dying to read about me here goes.

1. I am a special education teacher while I like my job, I don't want to spend 20 more years in the classroom. I'm hoping to move more into the administrative side of sped which I get to do some since I'm a Lead Teacher at my school. I also secretly think that I'm much better at the administrative side of things than I am in the classroom.

2. Becoming an aunt is one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me. Getting to watch my sister as a mom is one of the most wonderful and inspiring things that's ever happened to me. I aspire to be as good of a mother as she is.

3. I was an Au Pair in Paris for several months, but got kicked out of the country by the government.

4. The above story IS true, but it's not nearly exciting as it sounds. I was there right after 9/11 and the French Government wouldn't give me a visa because the family I was working for weren't French. Still I can now say that I lived in France, and that I got kicked out. It's my "go-to" story when I have to introduce myself along with an interesting fact about my life.

5. The longer I spend at work, the thicker (and more Southern) my accent becomes. Friends from HS and College say that I have a Southern accent all the time, but I don't really believe them.

6. I tend to panic in large, crowded situations. I've actually had to jump out of a car in the parking lot of an outlet mall before because there were TO MANY PEOPLE! My friends and family embrace this quirk and are no longer offended when I simply take off for an open space and air to breath (even if it means ditching them in a crowded store).

7. I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis last year 6 weeks before my 30th birthday. I was in constant, mind-numbing pain for 6 months before medications started to kick in. Despite all of that I feel that I have a much better perspective on life now, and am more thankful for the blessing that the Lord has given me. It has also made me feel closer to my grandfather even though he died when I was 16. I think that I have a better understanding of what a wonderful man he was since he lived with RA without the benefit of the meds that I take.

8. During those 6 months of horrible I couldn't sleep at night because it hurt to much (I also couldn't chew or open doors, but that's another story). Instead of sleeping I sat up and watched war movies. When you're watching some poor soldier get his leg blown off in the forest of Bastogne your pain doesn't feel so bad.

So now you know all kinds of interesting facts about me....what about you?

My House of Dreams

2009-01-27T15:20:00.000-08:00

Two years ago I found myself in the incredibly lucky position to be able to buy my own house. The house hunt itself was pretty easy because once I saw the House of Dreams I knew that I had to have it. The thing was that the house was absolutely disgusting. There were stains on the carpet the size of a person. The walls were black with dirt (how is that even possible). The ceiling fans had feet of dust hanging off of them (the dust was hanging so low that even I could touch it). The yard was so overgrown that you could barely see the windows. I won't even mention the kitchen because it was to gross for words! The good news for me was that I could see the potential in the house, and I was able to get a LOT of work done on it as part of the deal.

It's been two years and I still absolutely love my house. I love that there are rooms that are still unfinished and empty because I haven't found the right inspiration for them yet. I love that the rooms I have finished were done exactly the way I want them. I love that I can have a completely frustrating and annoying day at work and then come home an instantly relax when I walk into my house!

It is still a work in progress, and one that I love working on....now if only I knew what to do with that extra bedroom.

A Compulsive Reader

2009-01-25T15:19:00.000-08:00

I am a compulsive reader, I admit it. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I have two shelves full of books that I've bought and haven't read yet. I read all the time. I know for a fact that I read 112 books in 2008. I know that because I keep a list. I started the list because I was curious about how many books I actually read. I keep the list because I'm a wee bit obsessive compulsive. The list is even broken down my months since I wasn't satisfied with my 2007 list that just had a total number of books read

In addition to being a compulsive reader I also love bookstores. And when I say that I love bookstores I mean that I really, really love them. I love the smell, and the sound, and the sight of bookstores. Once in London I went to a bookstore that is 5 stories tall. It was possibly the greatest day of my life (okay maybe not the greatest day, but it definitely makes the top 20). It was what I imagine my personal heaven to look like. There were books floor to ceiling and crammed into corners. I spent the better part of an afternoon roaming the store and didn't even see half of it.

While the bookstores here just can't compare to the magical afternoon I spent at Foyles I still manage to waste plenty of afternoons just wandering the aisles of my local bookstores. I hate shopping in general, and don't understand going to a store "just to look", but a bookstore is the one store that I'm always willing to visit. It doesn't matter if I have money to spend, or time to shop I'll drop just about anything for the chance to go to a bookstore. This afternoon was a prime example; I wasted an hour (and $50 that i didn't have) at Barnes & Noble. I found 4 new books that can join the growing number of books on my shelves just waiting to be read.

I can't say why I keep buying books, or when I'll get through reading all of the books I have, but no matter what at least my compulsive tendencies aren't hurting anything...well except for my bank account.

The Writing Test

2009-01-23T16:09:00.000-08:00

Now I know that just yesterday I wrote about how I needed to complain less, and remember the good times more. Well today I experienced both a frustrating moment, and a funny one...all in the same period.

Every year certain grades are required to take a state mandated writing test. Today was writing test day which equals no fun for teachers, although come to think of it I did get a bunch of work done. Anyway during the writing test students are given a topic on which to write (pretty self-explanatory). They have a set amount of time to prewrite, draft, edit, write final copy, and proofread. Since I have special education students we get a bit more time but still have to take the same test. I thought some of you might enjoy this recreation of an actual test**....

Writing topic: Your principal is thinking about changing the length of class periods from 50 minutes to 60 minutes. Write a letter to your principal explaining if you would rather have 50 minute or 60 minute long classes.

Here is the response that one of my students spent 9o minutes working on.... (spelling mistakes are his not mine).
Writing topic: Your principal is thinking about changing the length of class periods from 50 minutes to 60 minutes. Write a letter to your principal explaining if you would rather have 50 minute or 60 minute long classes. I love middle shool. I want to get 100 on the witing test.

End of Example

Oh yeah that's right, he just recopied the writing topic and then added two sentences at the end. Now the real kicker is that I know that he can write a letter. I'm not saying he could write a perfect letter, but he does know how to start letters and how to end them. He also knows better than to just copy the topic!! Arg...............

**This is not the actual writing topic that my students had today, but you get the idea!

Classroom woes

2009-01-21T16:49:00.000-08:00

As a teacher I often get bogged down in the annoyances of daily classroom life.

Kids who won't work.
Parents who refuse to answer my phone calls.
The government officials who say that a test is the ONLY thing that matters all year.
A schedule that is impossible to keep.
A to do list that never ends.
Being a counselor, social worker, teacher, disciplinarian, and parent.
Getting bogged down school politics.
Students who just don't care and will make your life as difficult as possible.
Curriculum that needs to be modified so much that I practically have to rewrite the book.
Parents who don't support the school or their child, or who just don't care.............

To often I let all of these things drag me down, and forget why I decided to get into this business! But today I was talking to a high school student who is thinking about going to school to become a teacher. She just seemed so excited about the idea of teaching. I made me remember how thrilled I was when I first started. How exciting it can be to get into a classroom for the first time. Honestly it made me feel old and tired that I wasn't as excited or happy as she was.

I feel that excited about teaching about once a year, at the beginning of the year. That is the only time of year when everything is fresh and new. New kids, new school supplies, new possibilities. I love, love, love the beginning of the year. A lot of teachers disagree with me on this one. At the beginning of the year the kids don't know the rules or routines of the classroom. You have to 'break in' the class and get the kids back into school-mode. But it's still my favorite time of the year. So now I need to try and think back to August and remember how I felt then...maybe then I'll have less complaints and more fun!

Our 44th President

2009-01-20T16:02:00.001-08:00

Let me start by saying that I'm not an overly political person. I have my opinions, and I generally keep them to myself because people often go a little crazy when it comes to politics. But I did, and do support Barak Obama and was thrilled today to see him take the oath of office. The last 8 years have been full of ups and downs and I truly believe that the country needs this change.

On that note I have been annoyed today by the negative reactions from some people about the inauguration. I actually heard people say today that "this is no different than any other inauguration". Really people? How many other black presidents have we had? Oh yeah....NONE. And you know what, if the other side had won we would have watched that too because it would have also been a historic moment.

It was not to many years ago that a black man wasn't allowed to eat in the same restaurant as a white man. Black students were not allowed to attend schools with white students. It was illegal for a black man to marry a white woman. The nation was quite literally divided by race. And today, this amazing country saw a black man become the President! We have gone from a nation that had separate water fountains for blacks and whites, to a nation that could look beyond race to elect a young senator from Illinois to the highest possible office. The crowds in D.C. today were enormous and full of people of every race, and you know what...there were NO reported arrests. People who were there have commented that they saw no fighting. It was truly a giant celebration. During a time when the news is full of depressing reports on war and the economy isn't it nice to have something to celebrate?

My niece is from China so the idea of discrimination based on race is a real concern to me. I don't want her to grow up in a nation where the color of your skin can dictate the job you can hold. I want her to know that anyone, regardless of race, can achieve anything if they work hard at it. And I want her to know that the freedom this country provides allows me to celebrate today, and for others to complain.

So if you're happy today then I celebrate with you. If you're not happy today then I'd ask that you at least have the presence of mind to acknowledge that today history happened on the steps of the Capitol Building.

What can you do with a B.A. in English?

2009-01-19T17:24:00.000-08:00

Ah the eternal question, asked my English majors (and their parents) all across the world. While the actual answer to that question varies from teaching to writing to editing to law school, the practical answer is…not much. Deep down inside every English major dreams of writing the next great American novel, but few actually do. Many, like myself, end up going back to school to gain an actual skill and their English degree sits inside their brains gathering dust. Well I’ve decided that it’s time to bring mine out and dust it off. After all I’m still paying for the thing so why not start using it. The blog world seems to be the best place to start exercising my B.A.!